Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Royal Wedding. (Better yet, to be invited!) To see Kate's dress up close and personal. To watch Harry get wasted and ultimately end the night with his tie knotted around his head. To see the guests! Oh, the beautiful, wealthy, totally-not-like-us guests!
Much of the focus about the royal event thus far has been about Kate. What's she going to wear? Who will do her makeup? Is she pissing off the Queen? But as the wedding nears (Ohmygoditstomorrow! How are you preparing?!), it got me wondering about other things -- like who in the hell was lucky enough to score an invite? And I found out! But what's even more fascinating is who was left off! Burn!
The Royal Guest List:
David and Victoria Beckham. Of course they're invited. Speculation is flying around like wildfire that the former Spice Girl will make the best dressed list. I mean, she definitely will. She's Vicky B! Just don't wear white, sweetie. And try smiling. You're at the Royal Wedding.
Sir Elton John. Most obvious of all. Sir Elton was, like, besties with Prince William's late mother, and he could be the Britishest man alive!
Joss Stone. Random. The singer who likes to wear crazy colored highlights and oddball clothes was invited. She does have a lovely voice, though. Perhaps she'll serenade the couple.
Guy Ritchie. But not Madge. Apparently, Ritchie is, like, Kate's sixth cousin once removed or something. Whatevs. Bottom line, dude's invited. Baller.
Kanye West. Possibly. He wasn't on the official list released by the royal family, but that was just a partial list, and numerous blogs have reported that the rapper will be in attendance. (Will he cut Kate off while she's giving a speech?)
Rowan Atkinson. AKA Mr. Bean! How awesome and ... weird. I wonder if he'll talk at all during the reception, or if he'll just make weird noises and funny gestures.
Mario Testino. The famed photographer snapped the couple's engagement pics, so obvs he's invited. I'm surprised he's not the wedding photographer, though.
The Royally Dissed List:
The Obamas. Ouch! According to royal expert Roy Sheppard, "The cost of the Obama security would be unbelievably high and the bill would be sent to the royal family." Hmm ... is the Queen a cheapskate?
Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair and wife Cherie. A spokesman for Prince William said, "There is no protocol reason to invite former Prime Ministers." That's very PC and all, but I think we all know the real reason is because William reportedly disliked Blair's handling of his mother's 1997 death.
Former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and wife Sarah. The royal family was never really a fan of the PM while he was in office either. Who's getting the last laugh now, Mr. Brown?
French President Nicolas Sarkozy and wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. Message received, guys, you don't like politicians.
Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York. Not totally surprising, but still kind of crazy. Sarah Ferguson, who offered an undercover reporter access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, for $800,000, didn't make the list. However, her daughters Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie did.
Lily Allen. Despite the fact that she performed at a benefit for the late Princess Di a few years ago, the wild child pop singer did not get an invite. And she is pissed! She wrote on her Twitter: "You can quote me as 'outraged', why does bloody Joss Stone get an invite and not moi?"
What do you think of the royal guest list -- and the royal dissed list?
Image via Splash News