Season 4 of Jersey Shore is set to start filming in good ol' Italy any day now. I don't know about you, but I'm pumped to see the guidos and guidettes in their "homeland." However, it seems as if Matteo Renzi, mayor of Florence, isn't exactly ecstatic about the guid-tastic crew coming to his neck of the woods.
In fact, he's made a list of rules that The Situation and gang will have to follow while they're in his hood. The first rule: The cast will not be filmed in bars and clubs that serve alcohol.
Um, can you say Lame-sy Shore!?
Ermmmm ... what the hell are they all gonna do during their stay across the pond? It's sad but true, so many of us tune in on Thursday nights to watch the crew's hilarious drunk antics. Hanging around their European bungalow getting wasted with one another can be entertaining for only so long. What's gonna make us keep tuning in if we can't watch Snooki drunkenly wander the cobblestone streets or Vinny avoiding grenades at the local watering hole?
If any member of the cast fails to abide by the mayor's guidelines, then he warns that they'll be arrested. Really, I can only hypothesize what this snore of a season will entail if all goes "to plan":
Snooki will take the time to focus on her writing skills. A Shore Thing! did so well on The New York Times best-sellers list that the pint-sized guidette has to be looking to put pen to paper again. And what better inspiration than Italian culture, right?
Ronnie will be filmed walking Italian beaches with Vinny in an effort to continuously promote his Xenadrine campaign. At least for this batch of promos, they'll have something much more prettier and enjoyable to focus on than Ron's horrible acting skills.
Since Pauly D. won't be allowed to film in bars that serve alcohol (aka all of them) -- the MTV crew will follow him as he takes on a new business venture: The children's party circuit. JWoww will be his sidekick and the duo will throw Jersey Shore-themed birthday parties in quaint Italian neighborhoods complete with mocktails and bumpin' tunes.
Just because they can't film in clubs doesn't mean they won't go to clubs. Since the camera won't catch Sammy doing the nasty with the Italian Stallions, we'll see Ron and her fighting and have no clue what's going on. It'll become like a game! The guess-how-many-men-sam-hooked-up-with-last-night-off-camera game!
And that leaves us with The Situation and Deena. We saw the two get a little flirty at the beginning of Season 3, and I have a theory they'll be Italy's HOT couple. (By hot, I mean interesting and over-sexed, not attractive, of course.) Producers will encourage the couple to venture out into Italy's countryside, and film them in between smush sessions.
Doesn't sound as interesting as Seaside Heights, right? Can you imagine a Jersey Shore without the alcohol and bar scenes?
Image via mtv.com