Evan Rachel Wood Sex Secret Is, Like, So Shocking

Nicole Fabian-Weber
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evan rachel woodEvan Rachel Wood is all over the damn place lately. I log on to my computer, there she is. I turn on my TV, there she is. I open my closet, there she is! Well, not really. She's not in my closet -- or any closet for that matter, because the Mildred Pierce actress just came out as a bisexual!

I know! Stop the presses! Hold the phone! Pick up your slacked jaw from the ground! The freaky chick who was engaged to Marilyn Manson is bisexual. Crazy stuff here! And in her relationships with women, she's the dude! She told Esquire:

Yeah, I'm more kind of like the guy when it comes to girls. I'm the dominant one ... I'm opening the doors, I'm buying dinner. Yeah, I'm romantic.

Aw, that's so sweet, Evan. Will you take me out on a date? It takes me, like, nothing to get drunk. I'm cheap, I swear. And while we're out, after a few drinks, will you admit that the only reason you have TMI diarrhea of the mouth lately is because you're promoting a film? Thanks.

First, Evan spared us no details about the -- ahem -- lady part wig she wore in Mildred Pierce. Then, she let us in on how she's turned to Justin Bieber while dealing with her breakup with Manson. Now this? It's too much Evan, too often! The funny thing is, she actually thinks she has mystique. You're cray-cray, Evan. She said:

I'm constantly changing, I'm constantly growing. I think I'm a little controversial? ... I just try and keep some mystery, so hopefully people can't really put their finger on it.

Mystery? Mystery is keeping a low-profile, Evan. Mystery is not telling the world every personal detail of your life in a one-month span while doing press for your movie. Mystery is just doing what you do without the narration. Don't try to act all weird, and intriguing, and Angelina Jolie-ish, and then be like, "I'm so controversial!" It just seems fake.

You're an actress, honey. Shh, it's okay. We like that about you. Actresses -- whether gay, straight, weird, conservative -- all like their press. And that's all you're really after right now. Who cares that you're bi? Who cares that you've been bi? I just care that you're letting us all in on every aspect of your personal life right now. Because it doesn't seem candid. It just seems like you're desperate for attention.

What do you think of Evan Rachel Wood coming out right now?

 

Image via david_shankbone/Flickr

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