The fifth episode of Season 12 of DWTS celebrated all things American, which was a little like the Fourth of July in mid-April.
Between fireworks and flag costumes, it was patriotism on parade on a day when many of us (ahem, me) are feeling slightly down on some aspects of the USA, like, um, taxes for instance. However, the show did a decent job of shaking off the "OMG I owe a million dollars!" doldrums by entertaining me, though not always in a good way.
There were a few odd things about this week, much of which involved public humiliation. Some questions:
- Why does "American" mean women dressed like Uncle Sam strippers and men dressed like Billy Joel in the video for "Uptown Girl" or some odd redneck?
- Why do they always make the tough guys do a military act at some point in the competition?
- Why does Kendra always end up dancing like a stripper no matter what she does?
- Why were Brazilian dances all set to American music?
- Did anyone else cringe while Australian Kym Johnson danced nearly semi-nude to "God Bless the USA"? Call me a prude, but it doesn't really scream patriotism to me to have a half-naked Aussie gyrating to an uber-cheesy anthem of dubious appeal.
- How is Ralph Macchio dealing with the fact that he is about to see a whole lot more of Karina Smirnoff? His partner is nude in an upcoming issue of Playboy. That should be fun for his wife.
The best dance of the night was easily Kirstie Alley's rumba set to "American Woman," followed by Hines Ward and Kym Johnson's weird but well-choreographed Rumba and Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas' dance to "Party in the USA."
But it was the sexual tension and spice between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Kirstie that stole the show yet again. I'm guessing she will get some flak for her genie-like, belly-baring costume, but she moved so well, it worked. Meanwhile, Maks was shirtless. And that ... also worked. Really, really (REALLY) worked. But I digress.
Alley was good this week. The woman is 60 years old but she can pull off some younger moves just because she seems to believe it and that is half the battle. This week, Jon Travolta came in to help Alley and her partner dance, but he also called out their sexual tension, which HELLO ... is huge.
So the number one question of the night was obvious: Are they or aren't they? Very curious, indeed. I once believed he was dating his partner (Erin Andrews) and may have been wrong, so it could go either way. Only time will tell.
Do you think they are?
Image via ABC