Gwyneth Paltrow Cookbook Almost as Annoying As Gwyneth Paltrow

14

Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow. Is there anything she can't do? Other than be a normal human being for five minutes without irritating the crap out of everyone?

Everyone's favorite helpful-advice-dishing working mom (she's just like Us!) has come out with a brand new way for you to feel like a second-class citizen. Oddly enough, it's a cookbook, which seems weird because whatever Gwyneth, like you eat.

Eater did a great roundup of some of the best lines from My Father's Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness, and I thought we could marvel at a few of them together:

Could I use some butter and cheese and eggs in my cooking without going down some kind of hippie shame spiral? Yes. Of course I could.

Right away I'm nearly overcome by Gwyneth's fortitude and strength of spirit. Somehow, she managed to bring herself to use "some" butter and cheese and eggs—without curling up on the heated marble floors of her 10,000 square foot kitchen and sobbing over how she gave in to the Man. Goddess bless you, Gwynnie.


The stove is really the epicenter of my house — I am never far away from it and most of the time there is something atop it, simmering away for my family.


Tended, naturally, by her team of assistants, chefs, and fishmongers.


During the strict macrobiotic chapter of my life, I ate miso soup every day for breakfast and sometimes with dinner as well.


"Which is why I can't understand when women say they have a difficult time maintaining 8 percent body fat like me. It's simple! Just substitute miso soup for everything you normally eat. God, you people disgust me."


We've got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden—a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investments I've ever made.


Not that she eats pizza. She uses it to incinerate the members of her gardening staff who don't properly maintain the calla lilies.


I know, I know: there's no reason to be so snarky about a woman who's not only an acclaimed actress, she's really working her butt off to create her own lifestyle empire. So I won't keep making fun of her. Respect, Gwyneth.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have this totally random and inexplicable desire to read Stuff White People Like.


Image via Amazon


books, celebrity, celebs

14 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

lovin... lovinallofthem

didnt we visit this topic in THE STIR already?? why do you keep rehashing her if you dislike her so much??  why do you read her if you already know she doesnt even cook for herself most of the time.


she spends month on end traveling and eating her way thru italy, spain  and then throwing in a moment or two on some really bad singing , er, i mean country twang talent... DUH!


i would never ask her for mom advice, i would ask her nannies...


i would never attempt to eat miso soup let alone live on it...

nonmember avatar jodie

Ugh. She really rubs me the wrong way. And WTF is up with that butter, cheese and eggs comment? Lame.

Cryst... CrystalCloud

I like her! I thought she did great in Iron Man. Ha!

nonmember avatar kim

Gwynneth is the gift that keeps on giving: just when you think you've hated her enough, she provides us with new reasons and material to hate her more! Am I petty and bitter? Probably. She is (or seems to be) an impossibly talented and perfect person . . . even if she is all-too-aware of it herself and never refrains from reminding us schlubs of our inferior status. Still. I subscribe to the Goop newsletter. And it's actually pretty good. And I watched those travel/cooking shows in Spain that popped up on public television. Was it because I wanted to see Mario Batalli wear a pair of shorts? Oh no. I wish I could erase those images from my memory bank. Yes, aside from the gorgeous scenery and delicious food, there was Gwynneth. Somehow, she's hard NOT to watch. Damn her.

Nimue930 Nimue930

I must have missed something cuz Ive never been sure exactly who she was... Where have I been, huh?? LOL... Ive been looking at the picture on the cookbook and until that moment, I know Ive heard her name many times but Id have had a hard time picking her out of a line up of blondes... Guess Id better start paying attention...

AngiDas AngiDas

I plan to buy her book.

madja... madjanssen

Celebrities do these for a variety of reasons , mainly to cash in on their 'fame' but we all know their public persona is far more important than their personal one. She could be a saint in her personal 'real' life but few or any of us will have an opportunity to get to her know personally so all we have is her public persona. And the thing is she earns her money through our patronage of her movies and purchase of her DVDs and cookbook etc. - you'd think she'd be a bit worried about how we think about her. But no, she doesn't so I don't think we should encourage her burgeoning annoying fortune and fame.


I know some readers might be annoyed that the writer is going off on Gwnyeth again for the umpteenth time but we have all been there haven't we?! We all know that one person who has it all and keeps rubbing it in our face the wrong way and try as hard as we can, everywhere we turn, we see them around. It's easy to say 'just look the other way' but with so many families struggling to make ends meet, it's not so easy to simply look the other way isn't it?! I mean it's not her fault she's doing so well when everyone else isn't but she could at least fake some compassion couldn't she?! And doing stuff like these doesn't exactly render her an empathatic person.

nonmember avatar DAVID MARTIN

Beside the fact that Gweneth is unbelieving beautiful, has a amazing talented voice, style and class, she cares about cooking also. I am proud of her and her politics. Oh that is right she is a actress also. I think I read you before with your rant about her, OK we get it you do not like her could you gracefully go on to something you do like and be positive for once?

hiswi... hiswintercoat

if you're going to attempt to make fun of a celebrity on a post as yawn-worthy as this, I would have spell checked.. I think her staff would be plenty upset. 

1-10 of 14 comments 12 Last
F