The Bethenny Frankel Talk Show: A Sneak Peek

Nicole Fabian-Weber
5

bethenny frankelThere's been a lot of drama in the world of talk shows these days. In fact, it kinda seems like everything's been turned upside down. Last year we found out it was Oprah's last season, and now, Glenn Beck, Matt Lauer, Katie Couric, and Meredith Vieira are all leaving their shows or switching chairs. What's going on?

Bethenny Frankel is what's going on. Looks like the former Real Housewives star could be getting her own show -- and if it's anything like the first episode I just dreamt up in my head, it's a good thing Oprah and Katie are running because no one is ever going to want to watch anything else ever again.

Picture it: A stage emblazoned with Skinny Girl paraphernalia every which way you turn. Skinny Girl carpet, Skinny Girl couch, skinny girl Bethenny Frankel sitting behind a Skinny Girl desk. And, of course, everyone will be getting tipsy on Skinny Girl margaritas throughout the show.

Instead of an opening monologue, Bethenny will stand with Jason's parents on stage and berate them. Each day, they'll ask her if they can do something with her (go to lunch with her, spend Christmas together, hold Bryn), and Bethenny will start crying and tell them they're "smothering her." Enter her therapist, where the next 10 minutes will be spent talking about Bethenny's childhood.

Then on to the guests! First -- you'll never guess who's there -- Kelly Bensimon! Captain Crazypants herself makes an appearance. She'll try to kiss Bethenny's ass now that Bethenny's way more famous than her, and Bethenny will tell her, complete with hand gestures: "I am up here. And you are down here." Kelly will start crying and she'll run away eating gummy bears.

Then, after Kelly, it's on to Jill Zarin. This is going to be a tough one. Jill will also kiss up to Bethenny, and Bethenny will agree to make up with her -- only if Jill drinks three Skinny Girl margaritas instead of her usual Diet Coke. Jill agrees to and gets alcohol poisoning.

Then, in the last two minutes of the show, Bethenny will meet with Barack Obama, who is a serious Housewives fan. She will offer a few suggestions for the budget crisis. He will take them. The government shutdown will be stopped, and all will be well in the world.

Now do you see why Oprah quit?

What do you think of a Bethenny Frankel talk show?

 

Image via Eugene Gologursky/Getty

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