Bravo broke new ground tonight with the first ever (and perhaps final) LIVE Real Housewives Reunion. While the ladies of Miami finally let loose a bit, even Andy Cohen seemed unsure what to make of them.
There was finally shouting, accusations, and rehashing -- of which I could maybe make out 50 percent of what was being said because everyone was yelling over one another. Plus, just because we at home had to break for commercials, the ladies kept going -- meaning we missed another big chunk of the show. Perhaps most amusing, however, was the fact that these women had so very little to fight about because little of significance even happened this season. That didn't stop them, of course.
Based on what I actually could hear, here are some of the highlights and lowlights I gleaned from the whole mess:
Biggest bummer: No Elsa. The sometimes tipsy witch who was the only highlight of the season was sadly absent. They really should have rethought that.
Second biggest bummer: Andy let Marysol Patton off the hook with regards to what work Elsa has had done on her face after a "dump truck" full of questions came in from viewers about it. Inquiring minds want to know! All Marysol would say about the matter: "I don't know. I work, so I don't know what people do during doctor's hours." Yeah right, because you've never been to mama's doctor yourself?
Drama that will never die: Of course, this was that damn charity event that Cristy Rice supposedly snuck into, which earned her a spot on Lea Black's bad list. There was much shouting (mostly by Adriana) and no real resolution or meeting of the minds, but in the end, they shook hands -- mostly I think because Cristy is scared of Lea, the "mayor of Miami."
Most hated housewife of Miami: Cristy Rice. Everyone except Larsa called her a complete liar at least once I think. She wasn't very convincing defending herself either.
Biggest attempt to rewrite the script: Larsa I'm-in-Love-With-Myself Pippen was spinning her wheels furiously trying to convince everyone that she was the victim at Marysol's dinner party, that Elsa hurt her feelings. How she could even say that Marysol was the one who couldn't let things go with a straight face just shows how delusional and self-involved she is. She makes me cringe every time she talks.
Dumbest response to a question: Larsa takes this title too. When Andy asked if rumors were true that she was having financial troubles, she said, "I don't know, I'm comfortable." That leads me to believe Elsa's vibes about Larsa's impeding financial troubles may just have been as spot on as her vibe that Larsa is "emotionally immature."
Biggest Outburst: Adriana De Moura was a rage-filled machine set out to squash Cristy Rice. Her temper was en fuego as she fired off accusations and obscenities (yes, she got bleeped) one after another. I also loved when she blurted out, "If everybody did what I did, the show would be rocking now." So at least she gets that it's NOT rocking now.
There was a bit more bickering about this and that, here and there, but that's about as good as it got. And like the rest of the season, it just didn't deliver much of the heat we expected from this sizzling city. So farewell, Miami, let's hope it's a final one. No hard feelings, but there are plenty of other cities and countries to explore.
Did you watch The Real Housewives of Miami reunion? What were your favorite and least favorite moments?
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