Always the optimist when it comes to Housewives' potential, I had some small, misguided hope that The Real Housewives of Miami would at least come together and deliver a decent close. Instead, it was an hour and 30 minutes of Adriana De Moura strutting around in skimpy swimsuits and having creepy foreplay with her boyfriend, Larsa Pippen showing what a clueless twit she is, and a bunch of other drivel -- dull, dull drivel. At least there was Elsa.
In the whole rotating meal club, it was Marysol Patton's turn to host. She and her new husband, Philippe, cooked -- or rather boiled -- their dinner and gave a live infomercial for his new frozen bagged food line. Boiled salmon -- fancy! They also brought out their perfect party accessory -- Elsa Patton, Marysol's mother, who is a self-proclaimed witch. She once again proved to be the only mildly interesting thing about the Miami series.
Most of the women had met Elsa before, but not Larsa. Immediately after meeting her, Larsa wanted to get a reading from her -- expecting to be told how gorgeous and amazing she is. Instead Elsa got real and all ominous on her.
"You are very worried about a man," Elsa told her. "But I can't talk now. Too many people here." Do-do-do-do.
As quick as Larsa is to let nannies go, she was the exact opposite when it came to letting this observation of Elsa's go. She harped, challenged, pouted, and dominated the dinner conversation. It seemed as if since her lunch was ruined last week, she was determined to ruin this meal too. And she pretty much did -- especially after Elsa called her "emotionally immature." Spot on Elsa, I'm a believer after that reading.
Larsa continued to completely validate Elsa's intuition about her and concluded that Elsa was probably picking on her because she was "like younger and cuter than everyone else." I'll leave that alone. She, however, couldn't leave it alone and harped on it for the rest of the show, never once considering that she shouldn't have freakin' asked for Elsa's opinion if she didn't want to hear it. Poor Elsa felt like "a goose with a broken neck" over the whole thing.
Later at the last lunch/practical joke, hosted by Lea Black, Larsa even called Elsa a "bitch" -- in front of Marysol. Oh yes, she did. You can be sure that is going to be addressed next week on the LIVE reunion show. Yes, Andy Cohen is taking these ladies where no housewives have gone before -- into uncharted live reunion territory. If only we had any interest in seeing what goes down ... if anything. Let's hope they bring Elsa.
Did you think Larsa Pippen was totally out of line at Marysol's dinner, or do you think Elsa should have been more positive?
Image via bravotv.com