Sing Like Willie Nelson & Laws Don't Matter

Sheri Reed
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Willie Nelson
Willie Nelson
Country singer and famed pothead Willie Nelson could get off on his marijuana possession charge with just a puny little $100 fine if -- get this -- he sings "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" in the courtroom. The prosecutor says the song would count as community service. Wow, that beats 180 days in jail and a $2,000 fine, doesn't it?

Now I'm not one to really push for cracking down on potheads -- puh-lease, they're usually too baked to cook up any really scary criminal activity. However, this deal for Willie Nelson does reek of celebrity favoritism. It's not really fair considering all the bazillions of pot possession cases in the courts against slews of talentless stoners who can't put two notes together. And the talentless aside, if we let Willie Nelson sing for his freedom, then just think how all those other celebrity lawbreakers are going to want to bring their talents before the court.

6 Celebrity Lawbreakers Who Wish They Could Use Their Talents in Court

  1. Christina Aguilera could sing off some serious jail time with that voice -- a month off her sentence for every high note. But let's keep it real: a month back on every time she forgets the words.
  2. Chris Brown would surely have liked to sing off the assault charges against him too, but the courthouses rather like their windows and would probably opt to keep them in tact.
  3. Charlie Sheen could just perform his one-man freak show before the court. The courts could offer him $100 off every time he drops a "Duh" or a "Winning!" $500 off for any new original and catchy phrases made up on the spot.
  4. To work off some of that girlfriend torture, Mel Gibson could dress up in his Braveheart attire and show everyone his bare bum, which is probably pretty old and wrinkly by now. That'll teach him!
  5. Snooki could get really drunk and fall down and make the courtroom laugh. That ought to be worth something -- it's making MTV rich!
  6. Lindsay Lohan could, well, oh, just send her to jail. You can't inspire talent where there is none.

What do you think? Should celebrities be able to perform for their freedom?

 

Image via Jamie Squire/Getty

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