Jessica Simpson on 'X Factor': That Seals It, This Show's Gonna Suck

Linda Sharps

Don't get The X Factor confused with American Idol, even though they're both reality show singing competitions famous for having Simon Cowell as a judge. For one thing, The X Factor is rumored to be courting a blowsy, outdated female singer of dubious talent who will probably show up drunk to the judges' table.

See? TOTALLY different.

Auditions for The X Factor USA (the show is a spinoff of the popular British series produced by Cowell) were held in Los Angeles this weekend, with more than 18,000 hopefuls lined up by 9 a.m. While the show clearly isn't lacking for participants, the overall format seems to still be up in the air. Simon Cowell and music producer Antonio “LA” Reid will be judging, but a host hasn't been named, nor is there an official judges’ panel.

The celebrity that's currently rumored to be joining Cowell and Reid as musical mentor and critic to the throngs of wannabe singing sensations?

Jessica Simpson.

Aaaaaaaand I'm out, X Factor.

Simpson recently told WWD,

They have definitely talked to me about X Factor. I think it would be a lot of fun. It's definitely my life. To be a mentor for up-and-coming artists is right up my alley. I would have loved to have a mentor. I love watching people's dreams come true.

Okay. Here's the thing: on this show, the judges don't just critique the singers—they also help them choose songs, styles, and presentation. So if you had a shot at winning a $5 million U.S. music contract, would you want Jessica Simpson giving you advice on what/how to sing ... and how to LOOK?

("Take it from me, these jeans don't look flattering on the hanger, but they'll look great on camera! Say, is chicken of the sea really chicken? *belches*)

I'm sorry, I just can't get behind that choice. It seems particularly bad considering there's no upper age limit on The X Factor, so these aren't just young kids trying for superstardom. I mean, really, at least give these people someone who actually knows a thing or two about making good music.

You know what I really think, though? I think Cowell saw how much press Idol got before this season when there was a constant rumor mill in motion about who would be on the judges' panel, and this Simpson story was deliberately set in motion just to get people going ARGH NOOOO GOD ANYONE BUT JESSICA SIMPSON. That way, when the REAL judge is picked, we all think whew!—and actually tune in to the stupid show.

Damn you, Cowell. I just played right into your creepily hairy hands.

So what do you guys think, would Jessica Simpson be a good judge on a singing competition?

Image via Twitter

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