'Jersey Shore' Recap: Dysfunction Must Be a Town in New Jersey

Sasha Brown-Worsham

The thirteenth episode of Season 3 of the Jersey Shore was the second to last episode season finale and the one in which loose ends were starting to get tied up.

The roommates held a nice big barbecue for all kinds of friends and family, including Vinny's incredibly sleazy uncle who somehow managed to get away with saying the most vile things because he's old.

"He is such a pimp!" Deena said in her cutest little Smurf voice after he made some totally inappropriate and nasty reference to what I can only assume is her vagina ... but I digress.

The real story of the night, as per usual, was the relationships. Here is how they're faring:

JWoww and Roger: JWoww started the season with a man who was pretty much (very much) abusive toward her. And she is ending the season in love with Roger. Can we get a collective awwwwwww. It really is kind of cute.

Revelation of the night: Wow. JWoww's father looks nothing like any man I have ever seen her be with. Not that every girl has to be with a guy who looks just like her dad (thank God), but her dad is a skinny little hippy with long gray hair and Roger ... is not. So, that was interesting.

But I really do wish Roger and JWoww luck. They seem to be well-suited.

Sammi and Ronnie: Oh for the love of all things holy, end this cursed relationship! On and on it goes. I'm so sick of these two I could scream. It was another fighting episode and allegedly they're "over for real," but I'll believe that when I see it. These two are so explosive and ugly together, I can't remember what even pulled them together in the first place. All I know is it MUST END.

Snooki and Vinny: Deena spent half the episode trying to stop her best friend from hooking up with Vinny or Pauly D. in order to protect Snooki. Is she a good friend or bitter that her friend is cuter than her? I mean, let's be realistic. Girls pull that crap and her friend is far more attractive and clearly the boys thought so, too. It was a great opportunity to play the good friend and also not have to be jealous.

I think the show could reasonably end now and not destroy these people's futures. If they do another season, which they will (Season 4 is in Italy!), then all of these people better start saving every dollar they make. It's the end for them.

What did you think of this episode?


Image via MTV

Read More