On this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, romantic relationships were in the spotlight, and highly charged bitch-slapping drama between the ladies was absent. We'll get back there I'm sure (I hope), but tonight it was about who's loving who and how they're loving them. Most notable -- Tamra Barney and her new Latin lover, Eddie Judge, who may or may not have been the best friend of her ex-husband Simon.
Tamra says no; Simon says yes. I'm not sure it matters all that much since Judge "kissed her back to life." (Yes, gag.) The dispute certainly hasn't gotten in the way of their getting it on. Of Eddie, Tamra says things like:
"He has that Latin oomph, holy orgasm."
"Who wouldn’t want to hump him. He’s so humpable."
A smitten kitten she is, to a puke-inducing point at times. Really, I almost felt physical pain for her business partner Marcos who tried to have dinner with them while they shoved their tongues down each other's throats and talked about their exploits. The end bathtub scene was STEAMY, and if Eddie was Simon's former best friend, that may have been one of the biggest public disses ever.
Speaking of over-sharing ... there was Gretchen touting Slade's prowess in the bedroom over dinner with Alexis Bellino and new Housewife, Peggy Tanous. "His penis gets harder or softer according to my mood. He’s so talented." But as talented as he may be, she still has no desire to marry him. She would, however, like to lease him. You know, so that if his upholstery or motor isn't living up to her expectations, she could trade him in for something newer and hotter. I thee lease ... hmmm.
"Tubba-lubba," as she so affectionately referred to him and his little weight gain problem, didn't seem thrilled with the concept.
Signs of what we know of Vicki Gunvalson's marital demise in real-time are starting to pop up in the show. Today it was the little matter of Vicki setting out to sell their house, even though Donn didn't want her to. But hey, it's her life. Poor Donn.
Then there was Alexis Bellino who continued to bow to her husband Jim in the name of God and jewelry. He dismisses and demeans her, but she dutifully does it all for diamonds. When he bought himself two watches and she left the jewelry store empty-handed, she was likely wishing she had one of those leases of which Gretchen speaks. Wonder if her God would be cool with that arrangement?
We didn't learn much about new Housewife Peggy, except that she and her husband resort to having sex in the closet when the kids are around (which Alexis has, of course, done like a bazillion times more). Can't her crazy mother-in-law come up with a bracelet to stop the kids from entering at inopportune times and stop Alexis from her one-upping everything she says or does? Seems like that would be nothing compared to stopping the body's aging process as she's intent on doing. Good luck.
What do you think of Tamra and Eddie as a couple? Which couple's relationship do you think is strongest?
Image via bravotv.com