Ides of March Killed 'Bachelor' Brad Womack

on March 15, 2011 at 1:05 PM

The Ides of March is upon us and I do declare there's need to beware. Especially if you're Bachelor Brad. In this tale of love and betrayal, Brad will play Julius Caesar, Emily will play Brutus, and Chantal O'Brien will play the part of the emotional, and a little bit pudgy, soothsayer.

Boys and girls gather round as I tell the tale of Brad Caesar, a tall leader with a penchant for saying, "Please know that ... please know that" and his lover turned mortal enemy Emily, a young blood-thirsty blond with larger than life teeth and a desire to kill.

Last night on After the Final Rose, Emily Brutus stood up, grabbed the knife that you know Chris Harrison keeps in a strap under his pant leg, and stabbed poor Brad Caesar in the back. The first blow came when everyone noticed she wasn't wearing her engagement ring. In and out went the rusty knife.

The second wound was inflicted when she said she wasn't going to move to Austin. The third stab happened when she called off their wedding day ... the knife bloody with Brad Caesar's heart and soul, Emily kept going. She wanted to let the whole Senate of Viewers know that she wasn't happy -- that she wanted the power.

It was a brutal scene; Emily was relentless. She had waited months for this attack, and laid into him with a cunning force. And all Brad Caesar could do was take it. He was the one that built this empire and tried to make it a tyranny, so all he could do was take it. Everyone knows a dictator in perpetuity does not last long.

Chantal the soothsayer did all she could to persuade Brad not to choose Emily, knowing full well that Emily couldn't make Brad happy, but Brad refused to listen.

It was hard to watch, wasn't it. Emily took her time stabbing Brad to death, but he just kept taking blow after blow. He died right there on the stage and Emily did a little dance on his six-pack, then packed up and annexed herself to Charlotte. Poor Brad thought Emily loved him enough to follow him anywhere, do everything he says, but Emily will not be contained. Each "I love you" was about as real as her blond hair -- over-processed and lifeless.

RIP Brad. Et tu, Emily?

Did you think Emily broke Brad's heart on the show last night, too?

Photo via abc.com

About the author Lindsay Mannering

is a blogger, a pub quiz connoisseur, and a spicy food athlete.

Filed Under: the bachelor

Comments (4)

grouchymama

on Mar 15, 2011 at 2:11 PM

I thought she couldn't wear the ring until the show aired last night. If she was walking around with an engagement ring on it would not have been a secret. She has a child. She can't just jump in and marry a man that she has never spent time with in a normal setting. They need time to adjust. If he can't handle that then he needs to move on.

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Nonmember comment from LittleMo

on Mar 15, 2011 at 2:38 PM

I'm sorry but I don't buy the "don't rush because of daughter" excuse any more. This show has aired for 14 seasons before Emily was on it. If you listen to Emily at the ATFR she wants guarantees she won't be hurt. Well, I'm sorry but no matter what her life was like before and no matter what happened to her or how bad, who the hell does she think she is? We all would like to have a hurt-free, pain-free life but that isn't life. We can wish for it, even dream about it, but none of us, even Emily, has the right to expect that. As for not liking what Brad did with the other girls, he wasn't Emily needs to get it through her head that Brad wasn't "her man" until the proposal. He may have thought early on she was the one and then become more and more sure of that as the show progressed, but until the finale, she had no rights to comment on what he did or with who because they weren't a couple then. I was all for Emily up until the end but now I think that Em was actually a selfish chamelean in disguise and maybe Brad would have been better off with Chantal.

Brit_m10

on Mar 15, 2011 at 4:42 PM

I don't know why you have to bring Chantal's weight into it.

P2TheDoodle

on Mar 15, 2011 at 9:29 PM

Totally agree with your comment Brit_m10! I specifically joined the site to call out that TheStir seems to be all about women, and trying to elighten women - and now it's turning around and calling Chantal "pudgy".

I'm disgusted to say the least. She looks extremely thin to me, and not in the least bit pudgy. Perhaps this is why women are held back these days - not because of men, but because as women, we are constantly ripping other women apart.