'Battle: Los Angeles' Reviews Show Us Why Aliens Should Win

Sally Mercedes

Battle Los Angeles movie still
Aaron Eckhart & Michelle Rodriguez fight to save L.A.
As California prepares for what may be an actual disaster in the form of a tsunami, on the big screen, it's fighting a different battle in Battle: Los Angeles, which opens this weekend (in a case of bad timing). Aliens are the threat in this movie and it's shot like a documentary to make it that much more believable as the Marines evacuate civilians and help fight the aliens. Starring Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan, and Michael Pena, the cast could certainly be worse, but it's probably not enough of a draw.

Reviews for Battle: Los Angeles compare it to a Marines recruiting video, but if those videos are as bad as this movie appears to be, it's a wonder the Marines still exist at all.

Matt Stevens, E! Online:

If the jittery camerawork, tight close-ups, hyperkinetic editing, and bombastic score don't give you a meteor-sized migraine, the lame dialogue will: "What the hell is that thing?" and "It's like nothing I've ever seen before!" Unfortunately, we've seen and heard all this before.

Mark Jenkins, The Washington Post:

H.G. Wells did it better. This movie spends so much yawn-inducing time on variations of the same combat scenario that its final showdown feels rushed. That's why "Battle: Los Angeles" would have worked better as a video game.

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times:

"Battle: Los Angeles" is noisy, violent, ugly and stupid. [...] Here's a science-fiction film that's an insult to the words "science" and "fiction," and the hyphen in between them. You want to cut it up to clean under your fingernails.

Maybe we should be happy that Battle: Los Angeles is so bad, that way we can skip it altogether and not have to worry about the fictional fate of the California coast when we're busy worrying about it in real life.

Personally, I love any chance to see Michelle Rodriguez kick ass. I also feel the need to support my fellow Latinos by throwing some money their way, but is this really how I want to spend my time and money on Friday night? Probably not.

Usually, there are some redeeming qualities in movies with bad reviews. Sometimes it's the chemistry between two stars that makes a bad movie worth watching, or maybe the non-stop action catches you by surprise. But this movie doesn't seem to have anything going for it, unless you love movies that play like video games. In that case, grab a bag of popcorn and the nearest controller!

Will the reviews keep you from watching Battle: Los Angeles this weekend?


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