Gwyneth Paltrow as Holly HollidayHere's the problem I have with Gwyneth Paltrow playing substitute teacher Holly Holliday on Glee -- it's causing me to ADORE Gwyneth Paltrow (on Glee) while simultaneously despising her (everywhere else, including GOOP and all the country music gigs). It's very discombobulating.
My feelings aside, ever since Gwyneth Paltrow unleashed a beautifully quirky Holly Holliday -- who is based, we're pretty sure, on some fun, wild alter ego Gwyneth perfected with a hairbrush and a mirror back in her private girls school dorm room -- things sure seem to be looking up in the exploding "everything goes" career of Ms. Paltrow.
10 Reasons Holly Holliday Is Better Than Gwyneth Paltrow
1. Holly Holliday is super funny. Gwyneth Paltrow should enlist the Glee writers to script her some witty, fun-loving lines in real life now and again. It might help us like her.
2. Holly is so laid back and silly! We're dying for the rule-breaking Ms. Holliday to be our substitute teacher for a day! The rule-following Ms. Paltrow? Mmm not so much.
3. Unlike Gwyneth, Holly isn't a pretentious, out-of-touch celebrity mom who feels the need to constantly make us feel poor and guilty for everything we do and eat. I think Holly might even eat cheeseburgers.
4. I bet Holly Holliday would roll her eyes and have a snappy quick comeback if you told her to get a private chef or a "fishmonger who delivers" to make life easier.
5. Holly Holliday isn't a freak, well, at least not a boring freak like Gwyneth is ...
6. Holly is sexy. I loved Gwyneth's morose portrayal as Margot Tenenbaum; however, I've never seen Gwyneth as sexy, in or out of character. Stuffy, yes. Sexy, no. Holly Holliday, however? Sizzzzling.
7. Maybe the Glee musical team can make miracles happen in production, but Holly Holliday sings better than Gwyneth Paltrow. I mean, did you painfully endure those noises she crooned during the Oscars? The performance caused my Facebook friend Megan to write, "Remember when [Gwyneth's] head was in a box at the end of se7en? That was awesome ... " I couldn't agree more.
8. Holly wears Joan Jett leather to perform. Gwyneth Paltrow wears $1,095 Louboutins she can't even walk in for her Grammy performance.
9. It's fun to imagine Holly taking the stick out of Gwyneth Paltrow's arse and using it as a faux microphone stand to perform a sassy impromptu musical number. Well, is it not?
10. Holly doesn't try to pretend she's something she isn't. Sure, she's brutally honest to a fault at times, but we're totally on board with her heartfelt intentions. On the other hand, Gwyneth, a silver-spoon-fed WASP from Los Angeles, is trying to go "country." Why God, a record deal??? How about a Holly Holliday deal instead?
Who do you think is better Gwyneth Paltrow or Holly Holliday?
Image via Fox