Last night Aubrey O'Day's new not-so-creatively-named reality show, All About Aubrey, premiered on Oxygen. Yes, the girl who we haven't given a second thought to since her days in Danity Kane (if you gave a first one then?) has scored her own reality show. But even more surprising than that was the shocking show-stopper that occurred about halfway through the show between her and her dog.
MTV calls it a "television first," and I don't doubt that. I hope for the sake of any dignity that's left in the world of TV (which isn't much) that it's the last. Because while I understand pet adoration, I will never understand just what O'Day did to her dog -- not even Jersey Shore has ever gone THIS far.
Because she's so afraid of losing her precious Pomeranian, Mary Ann, she decides she must freeze his sperm. Yes, Mary Ann is a male dog -- she doesn't "do gender-bias names." So with the help of a do-it-yourself kit (yes, they really exist), she and her friends set out to collect the dog's sperm.
As you can imagine it was just ... beyond anything you've ever seen before, unless you're into some really weird crap.
Oh, she also tie-dyes her dogs while they sleep. Why? Because "they’re just colorful and fun to me," she told The Deadbolt. Okay, then.
The fact that she takes being compared to one of the scary parents on Toddlers and Tiaras as a compliment puts in all into perspective, albeit a warped one. She told MTV:
I actually just got a Twitter from someone saying that I'm like the canine version of 'Toddlers and Tiaras,' which I really do believe. Not in like a stage-mom crazy kind of way, but my dogs are so pampered and are the loves of my life, and they are everywhere I go and then some.
Please, oh please, don't let this woman get pregnant anytime soon.
Did you watch All About Aubrey? Can you imagine ever collecting your dog's "sample"?
Image via Oxygen.com