Charlie Sheen Quotes to Get Even Better Via Twitter

Julie Ryan Evans

Charlie Sheen

Just when you think the Charlie Sheen show can't get any crazier, he goes and joins Twitter. That's right, now all the ramblings and quotable quotes he's been spewing as he hops from television show to radio interview can be brought to you in real time ... in 140 characters or less. His first tweet is this picture of him and one of his goddesses holding up what looks like chocolate milk. The only words accompanying it are "Winning..! Choose your vice ..."

He's already got a following of more than 300,000, which is growing by the minute. Follow him now folks, because this is going to be good.

But before the Twittersphere explodes with his wisdom, let's take a minute to reflect on some of his most "winning" quotes as of late. They'll get you up to speed if you're coming late to the show:

"I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

"I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

"You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it! Unplug this bastard!' ... It fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm."

“That's how I roll. And if it's too gnarly for people, then buh-bye, there's the freakin' door."

“Oh wait, can’t process it. Losers. Winning. Buh-bye.”

"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending like I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars."

“Women are not to be hit. They're to be hugged and caressed ... She was attacking me, though, with a small fork -- like a cocktail fork. And she had it with her; that was the weird part. What was she doing with, like, a shrimp fork in her purse? She stole it, clearly. From a buffet.”

"I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party. Man, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of 'em just look like droopy-eyed armless children."

"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."

Perhaps one day he'll be able to look back from a better place and realize just how far gone he was. Here's to hoping anyway.

What are the craziest things you've heard Charlie Sheen say? Are you following him on Twitter yet?

Image via twitpic

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