Moving beyond the average variety hooker now, Charlie Sheen this morning introduced the world to his "goddesses" who live with him in his fantasyland ... and in his actual house that he has dubbed "Sober Valley Lodge." The pair of 24-year-olds are Natalie Kenly, a porn star he calls "The Nat," and model Rachel Oberlin, "The Rach." They all live together with Sheen's twin sons and his soon-to-be ex-wife, Brooke Mueller.
Sounds so lovely ... or rather completely and utterly effed up! If Sheen didn't have such a long track record of bizarre and disturbing behavior, I would suspect he was making all this craziness up, that it was a publicity stunt for some Sacha Baron Cohen-style film that later will make us all slap our heads and laugh. But really, the guy has just lost it, and the goddesses are the latest bizarre insight into his life. As he described on the Today show:
They don't judge me. They don't lead with opinion. They don't lead with their own needs all the time. They're honest enough to tell me, "Hey, look, you -- you know, park your nonsense. You gotta help me solve this." And we solve it.
Of course, they only solve it his way in The Cult of Charlie Sheen:
Everybody's vote has equal importance. But when we're approaching crisis, I remind them, "Look, I'm 22 years further down the road ... my plan is gonna be the best one in the room. So, just trust me on that and everybody will win. Everybody will win and everybody's needs will be taken care of."
So let's see, they're basically adoring believers there to entertain and pleasure him and take care of his children (don't even get me started on those poor children!). Of course, every day is "perfect" and "awesome" for him, as he told Good Morning America, so you can't really give him another crazy notch for hosting them in his home. What guy (with no morals) wouldn't if he could?
We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.
I'm sure he does, but what about these girls: What are they thinking? What are their families thinking?
In some ways they're no different than Hugh Hefner's Playboy bunnies, I suppose, but this just seems so much more desperate and awful. Perhaps they think they're getting an easier ticket to ride, since at least Sheen isn't as old as dirt. But if that's the case -- and what other case could there possibly be? -- they're basically preying on someone who's clearly sick. Hef is just a player -- there's a big difference.
They claim it's love, which is perhaps the most unbelievable explanation ever, especially when Kenly said she "fell in love with his brain" ... or what's left of it anyway I guess. Oberlin wants to marry again, so perhaps they want to take on some Big Love. There has got to be a new reality show in here somewhere.
We'll see how long that love lasts though when Sheen goes broke because no one in their right mind will hire him after all the crap he's pulling with CBS.
What do you think about Charlie Sheen's goddesses?
Image via ABC News