This mama loves The Bachelor. And she especially loves the hometown visit episode. The uncomfortable situations, the awkward chit chat, the weird dynamic of bringing home a guy to meet your parents, saying you may marry him even though he's dating three other ladies. Oh, yeah, pour the vino, curl up on the couch, and let the good times roll.
This hometown episode came at just the right time. With Crazy Michelle sent home last week, something pretty kookadoo is needed to fill her void. And nothing's kookadookier -- or creepier -- than dead people.
But before we get to see dead people, first up was a trip to Seattle. Brad got a nice bit of hang time with Chantal, met her three pets, and had a brewski before heading over to her parents' house. Let me rephrase that -- her parents' palatial mansion. To say they loved Brad was an understatement. Papa O'Brien and Brad had a heart-to-heart and hit it off so well, I thought Brad was gonna ask him to adopt him. Better than that, Papa O'Brien gave him the OK to pop the question to his princess.
Next, we head to the northernmost town in New England -- Madawaska, Maine (tuck that nugget away for your next Trivial Pursuit throwdown). Where Ashley grew up, Brad is game, and at the diner where she used to work, they dine on some fries with some sort of syrup or gravy concoction on it. I love fries but the sight of this plate just made me gag a bit. As they enter her family home, the Perk-O-Meter is off the charts. Everyone shrieking, everyone hugging and jumping. I gag again. But Brad loves it. They are all concerned that Ashley won't finish dental school if Brad asks her to marry him. Umm, they have dental schools in Texas, people. Whatever. The Newtons all hug, and Brad says he doesn't want to leave. Gag number three.
At this point, we are interrupted by a very important commercial break. You guessed it. An ad featuring Shawntel's family funeral home business. Sigh. It just went downhill from there. In Chico, California, we witness perhaps the creepiest hometown date ever: Shawntel showing Brad how she embalms people. Do we have to tell her that "aneurysm hook" is really not a turn-on? The Six Feet Under family seems relatively normal, but Daddy Shawntel was a bit peeved that she may not take over the family biz. He shouldn't worry too much because her job is creepy.
And then the date we were all waiting for -- Charlotte, North Carolina to meet Emily and her daughter Ricki. I love Ricki and I have to say, Emily handled this situation the best she could have. Talk about one cute and savvy kid. Little Ricki made Brad sweat. Made him squirm. Barely made eye contact with him. Oh yeah, he had to work for it. She came around at the end, but the whole date was a bit "off" -- and it only got worse when he refused to kiss Emily. Refused to make out. Why? Because Ricki was upstairs. Say what? Dude was smacked down by Emily in master fashion when she reminded him the kid's gonna be there every night if he picks her. No worries for those of you on Team Emily. At the doorway, they smooched. As fabulous as this date was for us viewing on the couch, I couldn't help wondering the whole time, "Where are her parents? Does she have any friends? A sister or bro that wanna meet him?" Odd, right?
Everyone meets back up in NYC and no surprises here. Shawntel aka Ms. I Work With Dead People is sent home. Next up? Grab your passports as Brad and the final three head to South Africa -- and they are already teasing us with who will and who won't go to the fantasy suite! Yup, Mama loves The Bachelor.
What did you think of this episode of The Bachelor?
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