Complaint #875,612 About Stormi Henley

6

Stormi HenleyDear Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson,

I've got a bone to pick with you, and you probably know what it is. Stormi Henley. Really? Stormi. Henley.

My cat could've done a better rendition of "Father, Can You Hear Me."

Stormi was so squeaky and so ... mediocre. Her voice wasn't terrible, as in, she didn't sound like some of the delusional people, but it certainly wasn't good. It was a four out of ten and you know it.

I don't care if she's Miss Teen USA and is prettier than all get-out, you should be ashamed of yourselves. J.Lo was the only one who had her head on straight and said, "I think you're gorgeous, but the voice is not strong enough for me. It's a no."

And then you two. You two drooled and gave the pageant queen a ticket to Hollywood. Why?

Why did you do that? Steven, sigh, fine. You love all the ladies and that's your shtick. It doesn't make it right, but I expected you to let Stormi through and you did. 

But Randy, WTF dawg? You have been doing this gig for ten years, shouting from the rooftops, telling us this is a singing competition! You know she sucked and yet your penis wouldn't let her walk out the room. There is no excuse for this, dawg. You know better.

Randy, did you let her through because you knew it'd be good buzz for the show? If so, still not OK. You're supposed to be a judge, not a producer. And Idol is about finding real talent, not about the prettiest teens in the US. Stormi's already won that title! Enough is enough.

Randy and Steven, I am pissed. J.Lo, gold star to you this week for doing the right thing.

If this happens again, if another Stormi blows through and rains on my Idol parade, then I'm out.

Pull It Together, Guys,

Lindsay

 

Photo via david_shankbone/Flickr

american idol