'Jersey Shore' Premiere Recap: A Return to Gorilla, Juicehead Heaven

Sasha Brown-Worsham

It was back to New Jersey for the Season 3 premiere of MTV's Jersey Shore and it was almost as though they'd never left.

The 4'10" news of the season is the new roommate Deena -- Snooki's good friend from home/twin -- who is ostensibly there to take the place of Angelina. "Party's here times two!" Snooki and Deena announced as they walked in the door and it kind of seems like it might be true. Of course, the first night wouldn't have been complete without a cat fight and drama and there was plenty of that, too.

First the drama:


The second Sam meets Deena, she calls her a "little meatball" (behind her back, natch!) and Ronny calls her "a little Gremlin." Oh, it's ON bee-yotch! Sammi is no "sweetheart," which we learned last season, but this season it seems to be even uglier. She was openly rude to Deena and appeared to be laughing at her for accidentally getting naked in front of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino (more on this, later).

JWoww, who was already furious at Sam and Ron for taking the best room in the house, decided to take Sam on physically, the two got in a fist fight, and ... end scene.

Snooki was also disappointed with the first night when she climbs into the hot tub/swirling cesspool of disease with her man Vinny (with whom she smushed last season) and he seemed into Deena. The drama! The tears! The pouting under the pouf! It was almost too much to bear.

Much as Deena and Snooki do look alike, Deena seems a little more level headed. At least at first she did. Then she proceeded to do a couple inexplicably odd things. First, she enticed The Situation -- who is totally "too good" for Jersey now, a legend in his own mind -- into her bedroom and performed an accidental striptease, removing her bikini bottoms and letting him see all.

Um, come again?

Then she called Sam the c-word, which Sam totally was, but still, it's usually bad form for the "new girl" to immediately go in guns blazing. If this is how the season goes, I'm really looking forward to the spoiler tease that showed Sam going home. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Honestly, she is like the worst kind of girl -- no fun, whiny, nagging, obsessed with her boyfriend, and boring. If I could mold the girl I would least want to hang with, she would look a lot like Sam. So if this is her last Jersey Shore season, then good!

A couple things to watch out for this season:

  1. The Situation may start his down slide. When you make a career out of being a cheesy sleazebag that people secretly mock and you suddenly actually become famous and rich (don't even get me started) based on that shtick, it might go to your head. And it seems it has. Watch for a major downplay of who he used to be and an aloof "I'm too cool for this" attitude to emerge.
  2. JWoww gets dumped, it seems. And so does Ron. This season looks like it will have less laughs and more tears. I really hope it doesn't turn into the Jersey Shore meets The Notebook, though because honestly, I'm not sure I can take seeing JWoww too distraught. I much prefer my Jersey Shore with pasties, public lewdness, and laughter.

I am definitely ready for more, though. Bring it!

Did you like the premiere episode?


Image via MTV

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