'Jersey Shore' Season 3 Premiere: A Sneak Preview

Cary Fagan

A new season of Jersey Shore is upon us, and MTV has released an extended trailer with highlights. I watched it so you don't have to. You're welcome.

Here are the highlights:

The whole gang -- save Angelina -- is back in Jersey. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Paul "Pauly D" Delvecchio, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, and Vinny Guadagnino have all come back to the beach.

There's a new smurf in town. Snooki has brought along a pal: Deena Nicole Cortese, a 23-year-old former waitress from New Egypt, New Jersey. So what's the new girl like? Sammi sums up Deena this way: "She's four feet tall, a short little meatball ... exactly like Snooki."

Snooki gets drunk. A lot. In the trailer she's shown falling off a bike, stumbling in the sand, hiding in a plant, and getting arrested. Oh -- and she searches vainly for the beach. While standing on the boardwalk. Right next to that big pile of sand next to the water.

New housemate Deena takes it all off in the first 24 hours. In her words: "It took a day for somebody to see my goods."

The word "bitch" is tossed around. A lot. The most creative usage of the "B" word? Snooki labels one of the girls as an "f**ing slutty-assed bitch."

Get ready for some tension. As Vinny puts it: "The dynamic has definitely changed. It's not one big happy family anymore."

All that, plus fist pumping, girls punching, silly string, stair surfing, and a grenade whistle.

There, I think that about sums it up. I'm exhausted already. Let the games begin!

The new season premiers on Thursday, January 6 at 10/9 Central.

Will you be watching this season of Jersey Shore?

Image via mtv.com

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