As promised, Brad Womack -- the intensely hot Bachelor from a few seasons ago who dumped two women in the end -- has returned for Season 15. It's not a shock, but they spent the first 20 minutes of the night's 2-hour premiere trying to convince us that Brad has changed.
After years (and years) of what he claims was intensive therapy and a cameo from said therapist to boot, we learned that Brad has daddy issues (awwww!), he was afraid of commitment (poor baby!), and is envious of his two brothers, both of whom have wives and children.
I have to say, I was convinced. But he never had to convince me of anything at all.
Just a little something I need to get off my chest: Why was he NOT allowed to dump both women? Why was he subjected to so much hate when he had the courage (unlike so many Bachelors before him) to be honest? I never got it. I liked Brad. I didn't need to see him go through three years of intensive therapy and be publicly humiliated by both Jenni and Deanna (the two girls he dumped) on national television to "buy" this season. But ABC seems to think I did.
So over the course of the night he was slapped by one bachelorette (Chantal O., who, if you believe spoilers, is an early favorite), reamed by a couple more, and told that he was so "honest and wonderful" by most of the brown nosing rest.
We get it. Brad is being harassed into the ground for doing what any man (or woman) does in any relationship -- making his own choices. Yes, he was probably a commitment-phobe and great, if he changed then excellent, good for him. But he doesn't need to convince me of it and it makes me laugh that a show with such a stunningly low rate of successful matches would dare fault a guy for being true to himself.
If anything, Brad is more likely than any other Bachelor to find love because he isn't afraid to not find it. This really could be the most shocking season ever just because someone could actually fall in real love! Stranger things have happened! And as far as I'm concerned, that smarmy, god awful Jake Pavelka was the worst Bachelor in Bachelor history. Brad could literally smack a woman and be better than that dishonest, brown nosing fame whore piece of dog poo.
But I digress.
The season looks like it could go either way. There is a dentist (Ashley H.), two single moms, one of whom (Michelle) is smokin' hot and the other of whom (Emily) is a widow. Both women have 5-year-old daughters and I know all of America was thinking the same thing I was -- playdate! If they keep hauling in the single moms, the mansion is going to have to install a daycare. And I, like my husband who was sitting on the couch next to me trying not to retch, also doubt their motives.
"What kind of mom leaves her kid for what could be months to find 'love' on TV?" he asked and given the aforementioned rate of success on the Bachelor, I have to agree with the man.
He would probably do better picking the vampire. Oh yes, didn't I mention Madison? You couldn't miss her. She was the one with the fangs. Is that supposed to be sexy? Because I was going more with a yawn and an eye roll.
The "most controversial season in Bachelor history" may turn out to be one of the most boring. Only time will tell.
What did you think of the premiere?
Image via ABC