'Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: The NeNe Love Triangle

Julie Ryan Evans
1

NeNe LeakesSo remember last week when Peter and NeNe got into a bizarre fight because he was supposedly giving her the cold shoulder? And remember how he seemed like a controlling jerk who just couldn’t handle his soon-to-be wife, Cynthia, chatting on the phone with a girlfriend once in awhile?

Turns out, he might have had a little bit more justification for being uncomfortable with the women’s relationship than it seemed, like the fact that: Cynthia is obsessed with NeNe.

To quote NeNe, Cynthia is dishing up some “single, black female shit.” Seriously.

After being devastated over the fight between Peter and NeNe, Cynthia was beside herself trying to figure out how to patch things up with NeNe.

NeNe barely sat down at the viewing of Kim’s laser-fat-zapping session (more on that later) when Cynthia begged to have a private talk with her. After numerous refusals, NeNe caved and retreated to the kitchen with Cynthia. There, Cynthia started apologizing and presented NeNe with a candle, which was odd enough, but not nearly as odd as the freakin’ friendship contract she made NeNe sign next.

Now joke or not -- it did say something about the president having to sign off if they ever decided to end the friendship -- it was still bizarre that she’d even think up something like this, much less take the time to draw it up, especially when her wedding is only six weeks away.

“Kim and Sheree is not exactly normal, but they’ve never done anything as freaky as that,” NeNe said.

And that is saying a lot.

Later NeNe showed Kim the contract, and the two had a good laugh about it, which previews for next week tell us will come back to bite them.

Is it really that easy to forget cameras are filming your every move and that everyone is going to know exactly what you say about them eventually? One would think they’d be more careful. Of course, all that wine that they’re constantly -- and I mean constantly -- swigging may loosen the lips a bit.

Peter and NeNe made up and proclaimed themselves “back in love.” Sheree speculated that Peter and NeNe seem a little too flirty together; and her hairstylist, Lawrence, may have nailed it when he said, “ … shouldn’t they all just sleep together, honey, and get it over with?”

Though since NeNe told Kim she'd like to date a white guy, neither of them actually seems her type at the moment.

Phaedra Parks wasn’t feeling any love for Cynthia or Kim after Dwight came over and started squawking about the ladies talking smack about Phaedra’s baby. He screwed up who said what and threw in some made-up crap for good measure.

“Why they all up in my Kool-aid?” Phaedra wanted to know before declaring Cynthia two-faced: “She doesn’t have a brain of her own, poor thing.”

For Kim, she reserved the term “uneducated hooker” and said she needs to “get a hobby besides ho-ing.” And, of course, they’re all just jealous of the fabulous Phaedra, who is even jealous of herself.

Kim Zolciak actually provided some of the best laughs this week. She had a fat zapping machine delivered to her house to get her in shape before going on tour with Kandi. There she was laying in her blinged-out bikini eating pizza and drinking wine while the machine zapped away at her. I’m so looking into that one.

Kim also had the best quote of the night during her drunken conversation with NeNe about her then-new relationship with Kroy Biermann (to whom she’s now engaged and expecting a baby with):  

“This kid is like 25 damn years old. He just came out of the womb, bitch,” she said. “He’s probably Phaedra’s son. I knew she was having a grown-ass man.”

Ha. Can you imagine Phaedra's horror if her son ever dates someone like Kim?

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