'Glee' Recap: 'A Very Glee Christmas'

Amy Keyishian

Brittany and SantaAs Glee begins, Brittany reveals to Artie that the roads to the North Pole are treacherous, and he’s got to get his letter in to Santa early.

“And don’t forget. Even a little envelope is heavy to an elf.”

“No way,” Artie breathes.

Oh yes, it’s true: Brittany believes in Santa.

Bang! It’s Muscial Number #1: The students decorate the Christmas tree (at their public school) with a festive rendition of “The Most Wonderful Day of the Year.”

It’s supposed to cheer them up, since they’re still getting slushed in the face by kids who think they’re losers no matter how many competitions they win. Shue’s big idea is to go classroom to classroom, caroling to raise money for homeless kids. When “We Need a Little Christmas” is interrupted by students thumping them with shoes, Finn insists they try again.

Meanwhile Rachel wants to sing him a forgive-me song, but he’s not ready to forgive. But the show must go on, so ... Musical Number #2: “Merry Christmas Darling,” by The Carpenters. It sucks. So does Rachel.

Artie tells the group they have to band together to help Brittany continue to believe. But when she wishes for Artie to be able to walk ... how are they going to fake this?

Over at Superprep Academy, Blaine asks Kurt to help him work on “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Well. This explains the Twitter hashtag #KISSalready!

Meanwhile, Sue has rigged the teachers’ Secret Santa so that all the presents go to her, and she’ll have everyone arrested if they touch ‘em; Shue consults some kind of rulebook (?) and confiscates them for the homeless kids, calling her a Grinch.

Sue suits up as The Grinch and dismantles the glee club’s charity Christmas project to the glare  of “Sue the Grinch,” sung by no other than Ms. KD Lang! But who catches her but ... Brittany, playing the part of Cindy Lou Who. This is a great gift for me on the 7th night of Chanukah. She plays the part to the hilt. I love Heather Morris. I love Jane Lynch. I love everything about this. Behold:

The next day, in the face of all the destruction, Brittany insists Santa will make it right. And Finn rallies the troops: way worse things than this have happened. They have to pull it together for the homeless kids. At the tree lot, Finn and Rachel split up to look at trees; as they wander along, they sing Wham!’s “Last Christmas. George Michael for the win! But Rachel can’t get her wish -- Finn under her Chanukah bush (yeek!).

The kids rope Coach Bieste into playing Santa; she visits Brittany and gives a heartwarming speech about how sometimes Santa can’t give you what you want, but instead, gives you patience. Deflated, Brittany loses the Christmas spirit.

The kids don’t, though. They visit the teachers’ lounge to sing “Welcome Christmas,” that Yaboo Daboo song from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Remember? The Grinch stole everything, but the Whoville people sing anyway, because they have each other. Sue’s heart grows three sizes that day.

A Christmas miracle: Artie gets a thing called a Re-Walk, which is totally a real thing.

Shue returns home, resigned to a lonely Christmas, but who’s there? It’s Sue, delivering the tree and gifts -- and an apology. Plus a shaver “so you can put all of us out of our misery and shave off that Chia Pet.” Aaaand ... out come the choir kids.

“I thought you hated the holidays.” “Nah, I just hate you.”

That was a bang-up episode. And here are some favorite lines to fill your stocking, too.

  • “Just know you have rights.” -- Brittany to Santa’s elf
  • “You don’t know how many kittens I’ve given back because they weren’t just right.” -- Rachel
  • “Just a friend. But on the upside, I’m in love with him and he’s actually gay, so I call that progress.” -- Kurt
  • “Camouflage is the only thing  that kept me from being court martialed after that My Lai misunderstanding.” -- Sue
  • “Are you guys punkin’ me? I thought we were okay after you sang me that song.” -- Coach Bieste
  • "I imagine having us in your classes chips away at your hopes and dreams until the world seems like a never-ending nightmare of pain." -- Finn, to the teachers
  • "For me, the real joy of Christmas was breaking the collective hearts of the Glee club." -- Sue

Image via Fox.com

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