Kim Kardashian Isn't Dating Everyone (Really)

Cary Fagan
1

kardashianThe latest Kim Kardashian rumor? She's supposedly dating Halle Berry's ex, the seriously gorgeous Gabriel Aubry. (Jeez ... hard life, Kim.)

We don't know for sure that it's for real, but the duo were recently spotted a deux at a Lakers game, then catching a flick together at a movie theater in Los Angeles.

True or not, Gabriel is just the latest in a long line of rumored Kardashian mates. John Mayer was reportedly seeing the Keeping Up With the Kartdashians star. Chris Brown was supposedly a beau. Ditto Kanye West. And this was all just in the past few months!

But not everyone has been linked to the ample-bottomed babe. I've come up with what I believe is the definitive list of people who have not been rumored to have hooked up with Kim Kardashian:

 

 

Jon Hamm
Glenn Beck
Charlie Sheen
Jon Bon Jovi
The Geico gecko
Oprah Winfrey
The Dalai Lama

Mr. Clean
Flo the Progressive Insurance lady
Potential Speaker of the House John Boehner
David Beckham
Pee Wee Herman
Steven Spielberg
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Joe the Plumber
Samantha Ronson
Bruce Springsteen
Santa Claus
None of the remaining Beatles
Prince Harry
Dr. Oz

Supreme Court Justice Antonin G. Scalia
Yogi the Bear
Derek Jeter

The kid who used to play Urkel
Johnny Depp
Kelsey Grammer (for that matter, none of the Real Housewives' husbands)
The Incredible Hulk
Kurt from Glee
Jesse James
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg
The guy who works at my local deli
Ozzy Osbourne
Former First Dude Todd Palin
Super chef Mario Batali

And finally, President Obama.

Phew. Think I got them all.

Did I miss anyone?


Image via Facebook

Read More