I don't know about you, but I'm staying far away from shopping centers today. Far, FAR away.
If you are a fellow non-partaker in Black Friday activities, here's a list of mall-focused movies you can sit back and enjoy in the privacy of your own home. Pay the rental fee and you're contributing to the economy AND avoiding being crushed in the doorway of a Walmart. EVERYBODY WINS.
Night of the Comet. This movie is old enough (released in 1984) that it feels like pure camp now, but it's actually pretty fun. The basic story is that everybody in L.A. has been turned to comet-dust except two teenage Valley girls, who must battle the evil zombie-like types that remain. (I know, right? The premise alone is sheer gold!) There's a fairly 80's-tastic scene where they find their way to a mall and do some looting-type shopping, set to that Cyndi Lauper classic, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."
Dawn of the Dead. You could go old-school and watch the original George Romero 1978 film, or you could watch the 2004 remake which isn't half-bad. Quick description: after zombies take over the world, a group of survivors take refuge in a giant shopping mall. Best scene: when they're on the roof practicing target shooting into the zombie hordes with the gun shop owner across the street.
Bad Santa. Possibly the most sentimental, touching, emotionally complex holiday movie about a mall Santa of all time. Gather the family, pop some popcorn, and sit back to enjoy the bounty of the season with this uplifting film.
Mallrats. A Kevin Smith classic, not nearly as good as Clerks but still pretty enjoyable. Watch it for this dialogue alone:
One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Okay, this one only has a brief mall scene so it's kind of a cheat to include it on this list, but screw it, T2 is totally badass and way more fun than getting face-elbowed by people competing for a flatscreen television.
I didn't include Paul Bart: Mall Cop on this list because 1) I haven't seen it, and 2) I do have SOME standards, you guys. Any other mall-movies come to mind?