So Capri Anderson is suing Charlie Sheen for assault, and Sheen’s response is to sue Anderson right back for extortion. The whole mess got kicked into motion on October 25, when Sheen hired a hooker porn-star escort who was only paid to have dinner with him. He ended up intoxicated and hospitalized -- with Capri claiming on Good Morning America that the notorious bad-boy scared her witless by tossing furniture, snorting something-or-other, and (what? I’m shocked!) calling her a whore.
And now the lawsuits? What next? How about this:
- Capri sues Charlie for assault.
- Charlie sues Capri for extortion.
- Capri sues Charlie for not explaining what “extortion” means in his lawsuit.
- Charlie sues Capri because her movie “Seduced by a Real Lesbian #8” was extra gross even for porn.
- Denise Richards sues Capri for getting her to take a picture with her, so awkward!
- The picture sues everyone for getting dragged into the whole sordid mess.
- The Plaza Hotel sues Charlie for, you know, throwing lamps around.
- Their kids sue Denise for having really bad judgment.
- Charlie sues Denise just for old times’ sake.
- Capri accidentally sues herself.
- Charlie Sheen sues all his children for divorce.
Who would you sue? Are Charlie and Capri a lawyer’s dream? Is Brooke Mueller going to show up with Gloria Allred next?
Image via WalknBoston/Flickr