Seriously, People? Seriously? The 2010 "Sexiest Man Alive" is Ryan Reynolds?

No. Just no. This is all kinds of wrong. I'd describe Reynolds as "boyishly cute," maybe. Maybe. I mean, if I were feeling generous.

Sexy to me means smoldering. Hot. The Sexiest Man Alive should make me want to rip off all my clothes, not tousle his hair and ask if he'd like a glass of milk. Granted, Reynolds beefed up quite nicely for The Green Lantern, but to me he still looks like this.

Aw, who's a snoogums? (See? My clothes are totally still on.)

The "Sexiest Man" issue of People also features the following men I don't find even remotely sexy:

Robert Pattinson. Ugh, not even if he's sparkling.

Justin Timberlake. Sorry Timberlake, I can't lose the mental image of what your hair looks like when it's longer than a quarter-inch buzzcut.

Bradley Cooper. There's a fine line between "handsome" and "ferret," and I believe Bradley Cooper has crossed that line.

Jon Hamm. Some people are only sexy to me in character. Take the Don Draper out of Jon Hamm and suddenly he's just a guy in desperate need of a shave.

You know who I'd pick? Timothy Olyphant, that's who. Preferably wearing only a holster and a cowboy hat. Ahem.

Do you agree with People's choice for sexiest man? If not, who would you vote for?

 

Image via People.com