‘Mad Men’ Roger Sterling’s Book Isn't What You Expected

Amy Keyishian

Don Draper and Roger SterlingYou’re lost without Mad Men, aren’t you? This past season of the Sunday-night staple was a doozy. Throughout several episodes, silver-fox funnyman Roger Sterling was working on his memoirs, which were published in one of the season’s final episodes -- just as Sterling’s life seemed to be falling inexorably apart.

Wouldn’t you love to get your hands on a copy?

Guess what? The wit and wisdom of Roger Sterling is just an Amazon-click away.

But the book won't be the memoir Roger Sterling was working on. Revelations from that book, as snooped by Peggy and Don during a late-night session at the office, included his referring to Miss Ida Blankenship as “The Queen of Perversions,” and Bert Cooper’s lack of testicles due to an unnecessary orchiectomy. (And possibly had the doctor killed.)

Instead, Sterling's Gold: Wit and Wisdom of an Ad Man, is a collection of Sterling’s bon mots from the show. You know -- his most quotable bits, like:

  • "Well, I’ve got to go learn a bunch of people’s names before I fire them."

  • "She died like she lived: surrounded by people she answered phones for."

  • "I love how they sit there like a couple of choir boys. You know one of them's leaving New York with VD."

  • "You wanna be on some people's minds. Some people, you don't."

  • "Remember, Don ... when God closes a door, he opens a dress."


There will also be an intro, penned in Sterling’s voice by the show’s creator, Matt Weiner, and 10 pages of glossy color photos.

But you know what I really want? An iPhone app that provides me with Sterling-style zingers I can use in my day to day life. But I’ll take what I can get!

Photo via AMC

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