Well, it's official: I'm going to have to knife fight Taylor Swift.

It wasn't annoying enough for her to give even more notoriety to Kanye West (thanks a lot, Taylor), or to always wear the exact same swoosh of eyeliner all the time, or even to make such crap-ass music and eye-rollingly insipid videos.

It wasn't annoying enough for her to date John Mayer, then write a whingey little song all about how she was, like, soooooooo shocked he didn't treat her very well, which duh. It's JOHN FREAKING MAYER.

No, now she had to go ahead and seal the deal on her status of most irritating starlet/singer/whatever of all time by hooking up with Jake Gyllenhaal. Otherwise known as My Pretend Hollywood Boyfriend.

Gossip sites are buzzing around these two, as they've now been spotted hanging out in Brooklyn having brunch and strolling hand-in-hand, and they attended a SNL broadcast together over the weekend. If there's any truth to the rumors, well . . . this simply cannot be allowed.

I'm sorry, but Jake Gyllenhaal is way, WAY too hot to be shacking up with a country-crooning fetus who's just going to write some kind of lame song about him.

Taylor, please, for the love of blonde ringlets, go back to that that wolfy Twilight kid. Hey, remember this?

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night


Come on, he was so good! So right! Which totally rhymes with 'night'!

As for you, Jake . . . dude, I'm disappointed. Very, very disappointed. I had you pegged as a mature Reese type guy, with a potential side of titillating Brokeback action. *shakes head*

What do you think about this couple? Are you surprised at the rumors?

Image via TaylorSwift.com