Taylor Swift Dating Jake Gyllenhaal? Pass the Barf Bucket, Please

14

Well, it's official: I'm going to have to knife fight Taylor Swift.

It wasn't annoying enough for her to give even more notoriety to Kanye West (thanks a lot, Taylor), or to always wear the exact same swoosh of eyeliner all the time, or even to make such crap-ass music and eye-rollingly insipid videos.

It wasn't annoying enough for her to date John Mayer, then write a whingey little song all about how she was, like, soooooooo shocked he didn't treat her very well, which duh. It's JOHN FREAKING MAYER.

No, now she had to go ahead and seal the deal on her status of most irritating starlet/singer/whatever of all time by hooking up with Jake Gyllenhaal. Otherwise known as My Pretend Hollywood Boyfriend.

Gossip sites are buzzing around these two, as they've now been spotted hanging out in Brooklyn having brunch and strolling hand-in-hand, and they attended a SNL broadcast together over the weekend. If there's any truth to the rumors, well . . . this simply cannot be allowed.

I'm sorry, but Jake Gyllenhaal is way, WAY too hot to be shacking up with a country-crooning fetus who's just going to write some kind of lame song about him.

Taylor, please, for the love of blonde ringlets, go back to that that wolfy Twilight kid. Hey, remember this?

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night


Come on, he was so good! So right! Which totally rhymes with 'night'!

As for you, Jake . . . dude, I'm disappointed. Very, very disappointed. I had you pegged as a mature Reese type guy, with a potential side of titillating Brokeback action. *shakes head*

What do you think about this couple? Are you surprised at the rumors?

Image via TaylorSwift.com

music, celeb couples

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SallyAM SallyAM

I do not approve of this relationship.

lucidkim lucidkim

I like Taylor - I don't think her behavior is inappropriate given her age.  I prefer my young daughters liking her over someone like Miley these days.  Jake doesn't do anything for me, so I don't care who he hooks up with.  Part of being successful these days is doing things that get people talking - writing songs about guys she's dated is her thing - and gets people talking about her/her music. 

kelli... kelli0585

"Dude."  She's 20.  21 this year.  Not a teenager. They were both born in the same decade. 


And by using such literary gems like "crap-ass music" and referring to a TWENTY YEAR OLD WOMAN as a "country-crooning fetus" and calling someone your pretend Hollywood boyfriend (really?). . . . you really shouldn't be one to judge another's maturity, or lack thereof. 


 

nonmember avatar MichelleH

Can't stand Taylor's crap-ass (stealing this!) music or her wispy tendrils. I'd be really mad about this if I didn't think dreamy Jake was gay. But I do, so I'm hoping he has some deserving hot piece of man on the side and has nothing going on with Taylor except some mimosas and eggs benedict. Mmmmmm...brunch!!

nonmember avatar caleal

I agree. Even though some people seem a tad grumpy on your take, I think the relationship is weird as hell, and Gyllenhaal needs to get out before she has enough song material.

Nancy... NancyJ422

Really? Born in the same decade? How the heck old IS he?  I don't see it and she annoys me...although her music is catchy and when I hear a song I can't get it out of my head.  But not her singing live because then she sounds like a cat getting skinned and I have to turn it off...

xavie... xavierlogan09

she dates everybody! she can't keep a man. lmao. they won't last. he's too smart for her non talent lame self. maybe she dates them just to write love songs about them.

nonmember avatar Anonymous

I'm not a huge Taylor Swift fan but I'm even less of a Gyllenhaal fan. That is the part that makes me want to vomit. What exactly is so great about him? And who cares who Taylor dates? It's not like she is 17 and doing a pole dance with her dad proudly looking on. This is a little too much like a teenage rant because another girl kissed the guy you like.

nonmember avatar sooboo

I hate that song she sings about how she's all needy and sad that the lame cheerleader loving, dirty pants wearing boy won't look at her. It's hard to believe that they were born in the same decade, she seems like such a kid.

-Katy -Katy

I've had a crush on her since I went to a concert when I was sixteen. So... I'm more jealous of him.

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