'DWTS' Results Show Recap: Where Are the Hanging Chads?

Sasha Brown-Worsham

So Bristol the Pistol lived to dance another round after tonight's results show for the fifth episode of Dancing With the Stars Season 11.

Shocking turn of events.

**Spoilers Ahead**

Florence Henderson got the boot and even though someone had to go, I can't really understand why it was her. Does anyone even know who Kyle Massey is? I had to google him just to make sure he exists. He has more fans than Florence?

I'm convinced that something is rigged somewhere. I wouldn't put it past the Palins to have rigged the voting because come on now ... is America just scared to vote the girl off?

Florence took it like a champ and even though I knew she wasn't going to win, it was still sad to see such a veteran performer go before a reality star no one has heard of, a star who may or may not be a "star" at all (Kyle, who?), and a teen mom.

Florence looked radiant last night and to her credit, she also did what she said she was going to do. It made me throw up a little in my mouth, but she proved that women in their 70s are still "hot and sexy." Or at least she proved they are still sexual, which is the important thing. Go Mama Brady! Shake it with your bad self!

The rest of last night's show ran as per usual: fake infomercials played for more laughs than they deserve, faux-tense moments when the result is totally predictable, some pro dancing, and at least one tear jerker dance story in the middle.

The night was full of performances, as usual, but the highlight was Shakira. She is such a performer with her swivel hips and abs o' steel. I could have used three more performances from her, but alas it was not to be.

On the plus side, David Hasselhoff came back for a brief appearance and proved he is probably a better actor than dancer.

Hasta la vista, Florence! We will miss you.

Did you think the right person went home?


Image via ABC

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