You know all those D.C. etiquette lessons The Real Housewives of D.C. have attempted to impart this season? Well, they, along with etiquette of any kind, went out the window as the insults flew and attacks were launched on part one of the reunion show tonight.
And, big surprise, Michaele Salahi was the target of most of it.
While a natural reaction may have been to feel sorry for her as three (and sometimes four when Stacie joined in) women ganged up on her, she was so unconvincing and annoying in her responses that it more likely made most viewers want to join the attack as well.
Andy Cohen jumped right in with questions about Michaele's recent revelation that she suffers from Multiple Sclerosis (M.S.).
Lynda Erkiletian made it clear she doesn't believe the claims at all.
"My first thought was that M.S. are her initials, and the rest is B.S.," she said.
Lynda said she doubts Michaele suffers from the disease based on doctors she's spoken with, and also zinged Michaele about the daily filet mignon she says she eats when high protein is NOT on the M.S. diet.
When Andy asked if ANY of the women believe Michaele has M.S., he was met with silence.
Michaele was surprisingly composed for most of the thrashing. She appeared well coached and stuck to a few well-rehearsed talking points about beauty coming from within and made a couple of lame attempts at insulting the other women.
At one point, after saying Cat made her and "lots" of other people cry, Michaele produced a few unconvincing tears (or at least squinted up her face in an attempt to), but they quickly dried up as Cat challenged her to name anyone else she'd made cry.
Michaele pointed to Stacie (the only one on "her couch"), but Stacie refused to back her up.
"I didn't cry," she stated firmly ... leaving Michaele hanging and looking almost as ridiculous as she did when trying to set the whole cheerleader-gate situation straight.
After talking in circles, Michaele finally made some sense when she admitted: "I wasn't a cheerleader" and tried to explain that she just made a couple of appearances as one and "fluffed" a bit.
When Andy asked her why she claimed to be a cheerleader, she said that was what she was told to say by the alumnae.
Guess she's never heard that one about if someone tells you to jump off a bridge ... and what of that little White House crashing incident, did someone tell her what to say about that too?
Though Michaele professes love as her mantra, she got flat out mean after Cat divulged her marriage is ending.
"If you find love within you, your husband will come back," Michaele told Cat.
"I don't want him back," Cat snapped.
"At least I'm married, Cat, and I have someone that loves me."
And, of course, Cat had plenty of words for Michaele, at one point calling her "the most shallow, insincere, full of sh&t, bullsh*t American I've encountered ... all over the world."
In the end, Micahele finally (and somewhat convincingly) cracked when she was asked if she ever goes ANYWHERE without Tareq.
Andy started to bring him out, but the other women were fast to put a stop to that, saying they wouldn't allow him to be the solo man present.
So next week, they're going to have to get some bigger couches as the men are moving in to the mix.
Other highlights from tonight's show:
Mary denied being an alcoholic or a drug addict and attributed her "glazed" look to her laid-back nature.
Lynda gave us her favorite cocktail recipe -- Xanax plus Concerta (and ADHD med) plus alcohol. She also expressed her love for pot (even admitting that she inhaled), but since it's illegal, she said she's moved on from it. Uh huh.
Stacie talked about how she finally found her birth father and will be traveling to Nigeria to meet him soon. She and Jason will also get remarried there, and he'll have to pay a dowry.
Cat denied racism charges and mumbled her way through what happened between her and Erika Martin-Hughes and their rocky (and then some) relationship.
Did you think the women were too harsh on Michaele Salahi on the reunion last night?
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