If Kanye West samples your song, it doesn't mean you're a rapper. Got it? Good. Now tell that to Justin Bieber.
The teen pop star recently posted a video of his freestyle over an instrumental to Vado's "Speaking in Tungs."
He then revealed to fans that his hip hop moniker is Shawty Mane. (Nope ... I didn't make that up. I'm a better writer than that.)
Here's a taste:
So I'm raptor/Tearing it up like a tractor/Matter fact you're not feeling this track, you're a slacker. Stop, drop, and roll/Justin Bieber's on fire/It's time to realize it's time to call me young sire.
And every rapper needs a celebrity beef. His is with Tom Brady. (Remember when the quarterback was mocked for sporting a Bieber coif?)
"Hello Mr. Brady/Tell him to leave his hair to the guy who sings 'Baby,'" Bieber raps as he smooths down his iconic 'do.
Oh ... SNAP!!!
Justin, Justin, Justin. Do me a favor. You need to keep on keeping on with the business of being Justin Bieber. Focus on being the best teen dream you can be and leave the rapping to Eminem and 50 Cent. The world is always and will always be in need of marginally talented photogenic young boys to swoon over. (Well, at least tween girls are.) And what's so wrong with that?
Please take my advice. If you don't, the world will only laugh should any another artist pull a Kanye*. They may even egg him on.
*Pulling a Kanye: Rushing the stage when a less-than-hip artist wins an award that you don't think they should have and then realizing way too late that it was an a-hole move.
Here's the video. What do you think?
Image via Facebook