So the great thing about watching reality television -- like The A-List -- is those moments when you totally connect with one of the characters. Sure, their lives are more glamorous, or pathetic, as the case may be, but there are those glimmers when you look at them and say, "Yes, I've been where you are. We are one." Or something like that.
For me that moment occurred on this week's episode of The A-List when off-Broadway actor Reichen took bisexual-wanna-be-model Rodiney to an indoor boot camp. Reichen explained that he and Rodiney were both in fantastic shape and for some reason this required them to go to boot camp. Maybe to parade their excellent shape while being yelled at by men dressed up as drill sergeants. Reichen loved it. Rodiney did not. He wanted his mommy. Which is exactly how I felt when I attended boot camp for the longest two weeks of my life. In the world of fabulous gay men, I, a heterosexual hag of a woman, found a relatable one!
The A-List spoke to me!
I could not believe it.
I'd hoped that Ryan and I would be reality TV character-viewer soul mates, because he's married, just like me, but that was just a pipe dream. Because I couldn't get past Ryan's relationship with his dentist, Dr. Juan. Not to give too much away, and please don't mention it to Ryan's husband if you see him working like a jackass to support Ryan, but Dr. Juan, D.D.S. seems to be injecting Ryan with Botox or some other kind of filler that gives his forehead that coveted baby's bottom appearance. This is a big secret because although apparently Ryan's husband doesn't mind paying for dental cleaning, exam, or whitening every three months, he may not like paying for his honey's skin treatments.
It's a good thing that I have my relatable Rodiney. The boy in love with Reichen and in hate with boot camp. Sweating and suffering.
Except then something happens. Reichen looks at Rodiney and asks to smell his arm pit. His smelly armpit. Reichen breathes it in and proclaims it to smell like a "lily field in Maine." Oh, sweet Lord.
And just like that, my dream of being one with Rodiney is gone the way of his modeling career.
Hey, maybe we have that in common?