There was at least one Jersey Shore cast member on something tonight, but I'm going out on a limb and saying there were two doing a fair amount of blow.
Something was just a bit off about some of the guidos, and it wasn't the absence of Angelina, which was such a refreshing deletion. Made even more so after Pauly D and The Situation cleaned house and threw out every single thing the lady touched. I do hope Goodwill was around to pick up her bed. On second thought, perhaps it's best left to decompose without infecting any unsuspecting Floridian.
So what will everyone do without Angelina to kick around?
Get some live lobsters for dinner, first of all. Seeing where food comes from freaks Snooki out, so she decides to save a lobster and keep it as a pet. We all know how this will end. Yes, Snooki kills her pet lobster in five seconds flat.
I'm just going to say it: Pauly D is so coked up. No one is that excited about t-shirt time and taxi cabs.
The ladies try to reconcile with pedis and vodka and poor Snooks is trying so hard, but Sammi is just a total dim bulb and JWoww is a thug. It's a lose-lose. And how is Snooki the rational one in this triad? But I don't think any of them are enjoying the nose candy. Even with all of the face picking. Just lots of the normal candy. And the occasional two beers upside down in the margarita. WTF, Miami?
It's time to head to the club again! Pauly is absolutely doing lines. But it's The Situation who gets aggro. He's tossing girls around Klutch and literally picks up Snooki and drags her away from her good time. Snooki knows that Mike is just, like, ruining everything!!!
You know what? He totally is. And after the second night in a row of Mike trying to control everyone at the club with his death stare and robbery attempt on Vinny's new, true love, Mike has headed to jerk-off town. The Situation most likely has a situation.
I'm thinking he and Pauly D are sharing a stash, but unlike DJ Jazzy Pauly, Mike cannot hold his coke. Hence, smacking Snooki in the face and making demands on the rest of the cast. It was ugly, people. Yes, even more than usual.
Who do you think is scoring coke on the Jersey Shore, errr, in Miami?
Image via MTV