'Dancing With the Stars' Recap: Boring Is the New Rainbow-Tasseled Flapper Dress

Sasha Brown-Worsham

Dancing with the StarsEpisode 3 of Season 11 of Dancing With the Stars was seriously a snooze-fest. If this is a sign of things post Bolton and Hasselhoff, I fear for this season.

A quick apology: this recap is later than usual because ABC pre-empted Dancing With the Stars to broadcast Monday Night Football and aired it at 1:30 a.m. EST instead. I thought I could not hate football more! And now look, I do!

On to the recap ...

There is no amazingly talented standout like Gilles Marini or Nicole Scherzinger. All the real train wrecks are gone and we are left with a mediocre pool of semi-OK dancers. This week was "storytelling," so if nothing compelling came out of this episode, we are in trouble.

All mediocre and no one to mock makes recapping a show a dull job ...

Jennifer Grey's dance was a bit disappointing, but what was more revealing was her attitude in rehearsal. She's clearly having an inferiority complex with Nicole Scherzinger, the Pussycat Doll who dominated and won last season with Derek. "Nicole would have gotten this right away," she says. Hmmm ... were the rumors of her being difficult during Dirty Dancing true after all?

A little prediction: At some point we get a Dirty Dancing tribute dance with Baby in a "lift" and possibly in a corner, too. All will be set to "I've Had the Time of My Life" ...

Bristol Palin is driving me a bit crazy because she has such potential. The way she moves her arms is beautiful and lyrical and it seems obvious that she has some raw talent, but her face looks like a frazzled housewife who has taken four Valiums and washed them down with Chablis. Buck up, sweetie! You are good!

Margaret Cho's rainbow tasseled dress would make my 3.5-year-old daughter drool. Come to think of it, my budding fashion designer should probably watch the show with me. Since she did ask me to drive her to school last week in my full sequined gown, I am pretty sure she would appreciate it. Cho's dance wasn't compelling, but the dress! The dress!

Also: her story was important. Gay pride! Cheers!

Audrina says: "The waltz scares me because I have to dig really deep ... I mean really deep."  Poor Audrina. It's kind of like when I was 5 and my parents encouraged me to dig a "hole to China" at the beach. After hours of digging, I was left with a sore arm and a giant, empty hole. "There's nothing in there!" I yelled at my mom. Indeed there wasn't. Indeed.

The Situation's dance was mediocre (sensing a theme?) but watching him walk like a robot in such a silly costume (sheer rayon robot!) was worth the price of admission.

I sense Florence may be headed home after her emotional, but ultimately dud-ish performance to "Edelweiss."

What did you think of this week's show?


Image via ABC


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