On this week's episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, there was way too much talk about Scott Disick's penis.
First up was Kris Jenner trying to estimate the size of it for Kim Kardashian, since Kris had recently walked in on Scott buck-naked in front of the refrigerator.
"I can't believe I saw Scott's penis," Kris told Kim. "I'm like traumatized."
And so were we all as Kim then proceeded to pull various items from the refrigerator and asked her mother to say bigger or smaller with regards to Scott's size.
Her final assessment: "Smaller than a champagne bottle, but bigger than a squash."
"Bingo!" she said when Kim pulled out a roll of, what else -- sausage.
Kourtney was all over Scott's manhood as well, as she wants to have another baby with the creep so that Mason will have a sibling close in age.
During another TMI conversation with Kim (while eating a popsicle more than just a little bit suggestively), Kourtney revealed her need for "lube" since she's breastfeeding and her estrogen levels are low.
"That's why you don't get juicy down there," Kourtney told her. "The juice isn't loose."
She also described how painful sex is after childbirth, saying it felt like "a metal pole was literally ramming you in the crotch."
So much for all the Brady Bunch comparisons.
Scott ended up paying a stranger outside a pharmacy $50 to go in and buy him a big old tube of lube because he and Kourtney were embarrassed to go in and buy it themselves. Of course, it being the plot for a half hour of television is no problem?
They proceed to go home and work out details of how to make the baby in much detail, with Scott simulating the act and skeeving out even the most voyeuristic viewers.
Kourtney went a little overboard with all her rules and regulations for optimal baby making until Scott had enough.
"There's only so many times I can ejaculate in one day," he declared before storming off to smoke (which isn't good for his sperm!).
After Kim chastised her for making Scott feel like just a sperm donor, Kourtney saw the error of her ways and agreed to just let things happen.
The other story line was around 12-year-old Kylie Jenner having boys upstairs in her room and daddy Bruce Jenner channeling The Incredible Hulk with his rage when she did so against his wishes.
After running away to Khloe's house via car service, Kylie and Bruce had a nice heart-to-heart about rules and roles. It was sweet.
But he was right, her shorts were way too short.
Did you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians this week? Thoughts?
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