Step aside, Dr. Ruth, there's a new expert in town, and he's not afraid to tell it like it is. I am of course talking about the esteemed Mr. 50 Cent, whose recent Twitter posts have placed him squarely among history's great sexual experts. Masters and Johnson has nothing on Fiddy, and I certainly hope he transforms his many talents into a larger public service of some kind. I'm thinking relationship advice columnist, perhaps replacing Dear Abby in our nation's periodicals.
I can picture it now . . .
Dear 50 Cent, my husband won't engage in oral sex with me, and I'm too ashamed to say anything. What should I do?
'If you a man and your over 25 and you don't eat pu**y just kill your self damn it. The world will be a better place. Lol.'
Dear 50 Cent, I'm still in high school but my boyfriend is pressuring me for fellatio. I feel uncomfortable but I don't want to lose him. Should I just give in?
"Ok ok I really want a blow job damn what's wrong with that. just give me a little licky licky. Lol"
Dear 50 Cent, I feel like all I ever do is pleasure my lover and he never reciprocates, and when I try to discuss it with him, he just tries to make me feel guilty. What can I tell him to make him understand I have needs too?
"Look I'm a good person I don't ask for much. I deserve a little oral bobbing on my ball sack. I do everything better when I'm relaxed. Lol."
Dear 50 Cent, I heard a woman was actually beaten at your mansion last year for refusing to give one of your employees oral sex. Isn't it kind of tacky for you to joke about 'deserving' blow jobs?
What do you think about 50 Cent's Twitter TMI? Just keeping it real, or in need of a publicist intervention?
Image via Twitter