Victoria's Secret Loses 'The Body'

Linda Sharps

It seemed like she was going to just go on forever, flagrantly defying the laws of nature by retaining a perfect body despite pumping out four children and being 37 years old, not that I'm remotely jealous of her in any way, shape, or DAMN YOU WOMAN WHAT VIRGIN BLOOD ARE YOU DRINKING, ahem, but it's finally happened: Heidi Klum is leaving Victoria's Secret.

After 13 successful years with the lingerie company, including her "Head Angel" role, which she's held since 2002, she's announced that her retirement is imminent. She also won't be walking in the company's fashion show this November, making last year her final appearance in the iconic show, which gave her the nickname "The Body." Hard to top last year's catwalk strut, really—how many women can say they've stepped out in lingerie in front of thousands of viewers a mere five weeks after giving birth? (TO HER FOURTH CHILD.) (WTF.)

Sources say Heidi's increasingly busy schedule—she's host of the popular design reality competition Project Runway, has her own fashion collections, and recently appeared naked in her husband Seal's music video—is the reason for her departure, but perhaps she just knows how to exit on a high note. At some point, surely gravity will prevail. Right? RIGHT?

*shakes fist at sky*

Top contenders rumored to be replacing her as Head Angel include Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrósio, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Chanel Iman, and Candice Swanepoel. I don't know much about the modeling industry, but I'd put my bet on Adriana Lima due to her media popularity. Then again, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley may be on her way to superstardom, thanks to replacing Megan Fox in the third Transformers movie.

Any guesses who will be filling Heidi's $10 Million Millennium Bra?

Image via YouTube

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