How Many Pervs Make This Mistake?

Emily Abbate

Go on over to

I know what you're thinking. No -- I'm not sending you to a site filled with child pornography. Actually, it's a delivery service located in Baltimore.

Who would have thought that some of the most unconventional provocative domain names go to very practical, conventional sites?

Some, like, notice that they may be attracting the wrong kind of attention (the public attorney's new website, rids the negative stereotype). Others don't seem bothered by the sexual innuendo.

Whether it's sheer coincidence or a marketing stunt, here are eight of our favorite misrepresented sites on the web.

Oh and don't worry, they are safe for work.

  1. WhorePresents
    What you'd expect to find there: The perfect place to buy your mistress a gift, perhaps bachelorette party presents ... anniversary gifts? Of course they would be tasteful and stylish symbols of love and adornment.   
    What you'll really find:
    The landing pad for a group of subscription sites that provide contact info for celebrities, artists, and athletes. In business since 2001, the site also provides up-to-date information on who's signing who.

  2. GotAHoeNorth
    What you'd expect to find there:
    Looking for an escort up north? Traveling to Canada and want a companion? Well, this is the perfect site for you.
    What you'll really find:
    Go-Tahoe-North: the premier website for booking a vacation in the Lake Tahoe area. From booking resort and lodging destinations to skiing, snowboarding, and other excursions -- this site has everything an aspiring snow bunny could want.

  3. SpeedoFart
    What you'd expect to find there:
    How fast is a fart compared to the speed of light? Is it faster than Michael Phelps in the water?
    What you'll really find:
    The artist profile of Nigel Talamo -- confusingly arranged and surrounded by neon lettering.

  4. DicksOnWeb
    What you'd expect to find there:
    Porn. Lots and lots of porn. Or more celeb penis castings.
    What you'll really find:
    A place to find chart recorders, data loggers, temperature alarms, and other data monitoring products for your office and home, from Dickson.

  5. WinterSexPress
    What you'd expect to find there:
    Couples shaggin' up in cool, often snow settings. Oh, and maybe (fingers crossed) information about a train that navigates the arctic on a icebound tour (think Harry Potter and Hogwarts Express train, but with prostitutes).
    What you'll really find:
      Welp, no prostitutes here. Just up-to-date news, entertainment, and sports out of the town Winters, California.

  6. CummingFirstMethodist
    What you'd expect to find there:
    Um ... I think I'll just let you interpret this one.
    What you'll really find:
    This is almost too good; the landing site for Cumming First Methodist Church in Cumming, Georgia. If you're wondering, Sunday's worship starts at 8:45 a.m.

  7. ChoosesPain
    What you'd expect to find there:
    Biographies of women who want a completely natural birth, refusing all drugs, and going at it au naturel. 
    What you'll really find:
    España, here we come! Use the site to find low priced villa and property rentals for the perfect Spanish getaway.

  8. PenisLand
    What you'd expect to find there:
    Guys-only domain. Are you a man looking for the ultimate resource on tailgate food, pleasuring your lady, or how to get from point A to point Z without looking for directions? Well, this is your haven.

    What you'll really find:
    "Your Pen Is Our Business," reads the site's motto. Welcome to Pen Island, the best place to get custom-made pens on the Internet.

Were you surprised? What's your favorite misinterpreted domain name?

Image via alcomm/Flickr

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