Sweet Orange Mammaries, What's Wrong With Christina Aguilera?

Linda Sharps

I've always liked Christina Aguilera, but I can't quite figure out what sort of look she's going for. Is she Madonna? Is she Lady Gaga? Or is she all Xtina, a work of originality?

Well, whatever her fashion vibe, she's certainly known for mixing it up. I have to give her two thumbs down, though, for her recent ensemble at a recent gala appearance.

I mean, ah, what exactly are we looking at here? The gossip websites have jumped on her for gaining weight, but I think her body looks great—it's her skin that frightens me.

And maybe the hair. Yes, definitely the hair. Yeesh.

I can't tell if what we're seeing is extraordinarily bad lighting, or if Christina really is the exact shade of an Oompa-Loompa. Also, have her boobs ALWAYS been that big? The girl is like 4 feet tall, how does she even stand upright with those things?

As for her extra-dangerous curves (which really look fantastic on her, I think), I wonder if she put on a few pounds since she wrapped her high-energy dancey-dance role in
Burlesque. Hell, I'd hit the cookies too if I'd been held to skintight costume fittings for months on end.

Don't listen to the critics who want you to be a stick figure, Xtina, but for the love of sequins ...
put the self tanner down. Also, consider extensions that aren't made of leftover Barbie hair. Just sayin'.

Image via Sony Music

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