'Dancing With the Stars' Recap: Still Mourning the Hoff

Sasha Brown-Worsham

An hour into the second episode of Dancing With the Stars Season 11, it was pretty obvious that the show was suffering from a lack of David Hasselhoff.

It's one thing to have an all amateur cast (which they pretty much do). It's another to have a cast full of people we were never interested in anyway.

***Spoilers ahead***

Jennifer Grey, Brandy, Audrina Patridge, Margaret Cho, and Kyle Massey all gave respectable performance and surprised me with their abilities.

Rick Fox looked hot and danced OK while Kurt Warner appeared to be having a blast.

And then there were the two we all came to see: Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and Bristol Palin, whose mother did make an appearance last night reiterating two things:

1.) She is still annoying.

2.) She knows less about hockey than I do.

But I digress. Sarah Palin's terrifying attempt at a shimmy aside (please Lord do not let this woman get the Republican nomination in 2012), Bristol did a fine job. She wore a dress that would make my toddler daughter kvel (Purple! So much purple!) and generally showed some comfort with the quick step and a sweet shyness that made you kind of want to hug her.

That energy would be the exact opposite of what Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino radiated, which is more like toxic sludge. Seriously, this guy is such a bucket of poo. How does he get women? I repeat: HOW does he get women?

He did try last night, so I will give him credit for that, but it should be against the law to have such little sense of humor. Granted, he isn't an actor, but really would it be too much to ask to have him not take himself so seriously? He's a reality star famous for his abs and his prowess (WHY Lord? Why?) with women. He isn't a physicist or heart surgeon. He isn't saving lives with his airbrushed tan, so lighten up dude. Serious is for smart people.

Michael Bolton's performance earned a score of 12. I'm honestly not sure I've seen a more depressing dance on the show and so I will refrain from mocking it. The poor guy looked like he was going to cry after Bruno told him his jive was the "worst" in the show's history.

Hello? Did we not just vote off the Hoff? Really Bruno, was that necessary?

Jennifer Grey rocked the house and made me hope and wish and pray that my body is exactly like hers in 20 years. Seriously, how is it possible that she has not aged a day and she is now 50 years old? Kudos to her. She is fantastic.

My predictions:

1.) Poor Michael Bolton will be sent packing tomorrow.

2.) Jennifer Grey will take home the mirror ball trophy.

Stay tuned for tomorrow!

What did you think of tonight's show?


Image via ABC.com


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