I know what I look like when I've been slogging through an airport security line for twelve hours, and it's pretty much nothing like Kim Kardashian, who was crisp and stylish in her white tank and I'm a Famous Person sunglasses at LAX yesterday. Unfortunately, her fashionable ensemble was briefly ruined by killjoy TSA employees, who made her assume the position in order to have a dildo-esque wand waved around her body as they searched for implants. Er, forbidden substances.
I always assumed celebrities just bypassed TSA altogether, but let the record show even A-listers occasionally get trapped by security. Observe:
Lady Gaga and her handcuffs. And her . . . um, outfit. Wow, did she actually fly in that? You'd think there would have been chafing. Anyway, TSA had to publicly address Gaga's handcuffs, clarifying that despite what you may have guessed, handcuffs are allowed on flights.
Rihanna and her awesome neck tattoo. Rihanna got the full security scan while standing with arms spread, showing off her rocking tattoo and enviable deltoids.
Britney and her Big Gulp. TSA had to take to their blog again to defend themselves after a video of Britney Spears was posted, clearly showing the celebrity sailing through security with a giant drink cup. TSA's claim? It was okay because it was ice, not liquid. Mmm-hmmmm.
JLo and her frisked anatomy. If I were going to frisk JLo, I'd totally start with her booty. What? Girlfriend could have ANYTHING hidden in there.
Gwen Stefani and her bra. Man, don't you hate it when you have to take off your jacket in security and all you've got on underneath is a sheer black shirt with a bright red bra? Me too.
Who's your favorite? I'm going to have to go with Gaga, if only for the shoes. Those things must have been a bitch to get off and put in the plastic tray.
Image via Twitter