Sleazy Ashton Kutcher Rumors Get Sleazier

Linda Sharps

Following the inexorable process of nearly all tawdry celebrity cheating scandals, naked photos have surfaced of Ashton Kutcher's rumored mistress. You know, the 21-year-old he supposedly gave the old baloney-pony to on a couch while his wife Demi Moore was either away from home or busy posting Twitpics of herself or something.

The young lady in question, Brittney Jones (the extra "t" is for "titties"), has a history of being somewhat of a party girl, to absolutely no one's surprise. The photos were taken by her then-boyfriend while she was either tanked, asleep, or just plain stupid, because these aren't exactly Glamour Shots, you know what I mean? I think my favorite is the one where she appears to be totally passed out while sprawled buck-naked on a ratty-looking sleeping bag, which is piled on top of a filthy, stained carpet.

It must have been a nice change to be knocking boots with Ashton Kutcher in his house, because one presumes the Kutcher/Moore living room carpet is immaculate.

I can't say I'm surprised by this whole mess (although I suppose there's a chance that none of these rumors are even true), but I always wonder just what in the hell celebrities are thinking when they cheat with someone like Brittney Jones. I mean, obviously they're thinking with their little head, but still. Doesn't it even cross their mind that sending someone a damning text message is the exact same thing as handing over their bank account, and telling their one-night-stand to make a withdrawal? Because once the evidence is there, all the power shifts to the one who's got nothing to lose. What happens next? Nekked vagina photos, that's what.

Now that Jones has sold her story to Star magazine, she has, of course, employed a manager and a publicist. I sure hope Ashton's ready to start throwing money at this situation to make it go away.

On the other hand ... maybe he's being Punk'd?

Image via MTV


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