'Dancing With the Stars' Results Show Recap: The Sex Bomb Bombed

Sasha Brown-Worsham
12

The Dancing With the Stars results show is always a bit of a torture fest full of 99.9 percent filler and .01 percent what we all want to see (bloodshed on the dance floor with a side of humiliation). The Season 11 premiere results show episode was even worse.

They stretched the one hour "let's make up a bunch of crap and try to be funny" episode into two long hours, the first of which was just a recap. So, after 1 hour and 59 minutes of a show I'd also spent two hours watching the night before, I was ready to see someone get kicked to the curb.

I was just surprised at who it was.

Someone likely made a lot of money in Vegas on this one.

***Spoilers ahead****

America sent home the Hoff. They sent home the Hoff. Do you hear me? But he's so big in Germany, dammit! And I'm disappointed. Yes, his performance was a train wreck, but it was also the most entertaining portion of the show. Can't America see that?

He handled it like a pro, natch. Unlike Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, who is a douche of the highest order, Hoff does seem to have a sense of humor about himself, which is massively appealing.

I was truly sad to see him go, especially when there are more than two people on the show who I had never seen before. Hoff gave us Baywatch! He gave us Knight Rider! And now we just abandon him?

I think it says something about our priorities as a country when dead fish Bristol Palin stays on the show alongside a man more famous for STDs and tanning prowess than any discernible talent while we send home a living legend.

Who the hell are these people voting for anyway? Do they all live in Moose Country? Did The Situation force all the girls he has slept with to rig the ballot?

Hopefully, I will move through my grief stages rather quickly. Please excuse the fact that I'm still in denial. It's so uncouth, but I feel a bit stuck.

I mean, seriously. If they send home Jennifer Grey next week, I will be sure there is no loyalty or justice left in the world.

What did you think of the decision?

 

Image via ABC.com


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