Justin Bieber's Living the (Horny Teenage) Dream

6

Justin Bieber stopped by a restaurant at the West Edmonton Mall in Canada last Saturday, which probably wouldn't really be newsworthy except 1) he serenaded the entire establishment, presumably driving fans into a frenzy of excited urine-spraying, and 2) the restaurant was a Hooters.

So 16-year-old "Fetus With a Combover" Bieber was in a freaking Hooters, being fawned over by a wait staff of large-breasted women who fed him, according to reports, deep-fried pickles.

You've got to wonder just what kind of karmic lottery this kid has managed to win, you know?

What I enjoy about this story is the accompanying photo of Bieber surrounded by buxom Hooters girls, because it totally reminds me of when I worked at a Kinko's (many, many years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth) and a guy brought in a photo of his barely teenage son posed with a couple of Hooters waitresses and asked us to enlarge the image into a poster, at which point it became, ah, turgidly clear that the kid was really, really enjoying the ... chicken wings.

I mean, I'm not saying Justin Bieber is sporting a massive raging boner of his own in the Hooters photo, but ... well, he's 16 and flanked by six hot chicks with giant boobs. I'm guessing he's not just happy to see them, you know?

To Justin Bieber, I tip my hat to you, young sir. I may not understand your appeal, and god knows I can't listen to your music, but you're surely on top of your world right now. Enjoy the ride while it lasts, but for crying out loud, try not to be photographed in a strip club next.

 

Image via Justinbiebermusic.com


justin bieber, music

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nonmember avatar donna

Your article is disgusting and as usual, not accurate. Justin's dancers were told they would get a free meal if they could see Justin. Justin came in for a quick photo and left shortly after.

Get your story straight.

Proud... Proudmumof2

I used to frequent Hooters, WEM, as my husband was manager there and I can only imagine how much fun the girls had with him there! It's a restaurant, not a strip club - get over it!

Lisa Alskog

i enjoyed your article, as usual it made me laugh. beiber has definitely hit the karma lottery for a sixteen yr old boy!

nonmember avatar Melissa

I had read a few of your columns over here but hadn't read the comments until today. You know you're somebody when you've got haters, huh?
Witty as usual, keep up the good work!

xavie... xavierlogan09

ugh. justin beiber is an egomaniac. lmao. i don't listen to his music either. 

nonmember avatar jasmine

i am 6 and i love you so much jasmine

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