God help me, I'm writing about Speidi again. I know, I know: if only we'd ignore them, they'd go away. But I swear these two are like media cockroaches—THEY CAN'T BE KILLED.
Unless . . . unless someone came up with an audience participation reality show that offered a $1 million dollar prize to the first citizen who could successfully hunt these losers down and beat the celebrity out of them? Yessssssss. It'd be called FAMEHUNTER and people could win sponsor-donated SUVs for reporting Speidi appearances to the teams of competing vigilantes.
Paging Mark Burnett! Come on, I've got a GOLD MINE here.
Aaaanyway, the latest scuttlebutt on Heidi and Spencer is that their whole divorce drama has been, as many suspected, a giant publicity stunt. RadarOnline.com is reporting that despite their "reunion" in Costa Rica, they've been secretly living together in Malibu all summer. Not only that, but the classy couple trashed their Malibu rental house, including soaking a $15,000 carpet with dog piss, before moving out.
Heidi's doing her part to keep the are-they-or-aren't-they-together conversation going, hinting that their so-called divorce may be off:
"As far as I'm concerned the last thing in the world after everything we have just been through is to go through with this divorce. But we are just taking life second by second."
Yes, because they've been through so much. What with all the . . . uh . . . well, I guess Spencer grew that big disgusting beard and they've had to set up a lot of candid photo shoots and all. I'm sure it's been exhausting.
Let's hope the next Speidi story we see involves the two of them taking a long vacation out of town. Somewhere exotic. Perhaps exploring the bottom of a volcano, or something.
Image via MTV