'Mad Men' Recap: Girls, Girls, Girls

April Peveteaux

mad men don's diary6/15/65

Dear Diary,

My name is Don Draper. I may be an alcoholic. I may write erotica about single gals living in all-women apartment buildings. My new hobby is swimming.

Holy introspection, Batman! We received a lot of life lessons this week on Mad Men. One of which is, don't ever get a divorce if you have kids, because your heart, their hearts, and everyone's hearts around you will break in two. Yes, Baby Gene is back. It's his second birthday, and no one seems excited about the party.

While Don is (possibly, not really) getting clean, and taking notes about his existence, this episode is really about the women of Mad Men. All of them. Even Betty's neighbor Francine, who only seems to stop by to remind Betty that she has terrible luck with entertaining.

Joan vs. The World should have been written in bold on a title card, as Joanie faces down the little boys at Sterling, Cooper, Draper & Pryce, then has to go home to her (still think he's a d-bag) husband, who is about to ship out to basic. Because he couldn't get a job as a surgeon. What a freaking life.

Is it any wonder Joan lashes out at the juveniles who think it's clever to draw obscene pictures of her and scream in her face that she looks like she wants to get raped? Sure, perhaps it was harsh that Joan told Joey, Stan, and some random guy she hoped they got gunned down in Vietnam. But honestly, I was thinking it.

If only that damn vending machine had been working properly!

The other main lady show happens as Betty and Henry arrive to talk Henry's next political gig, and Don is wining and dining Miss Bethany Van Nuys at a nearby table. Betty gets drunk and receives Henry's scorn on the way home, while Don receives a BJ in the backseat of the cab. When all he really wanted was to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro or gain a modicum of control over the way he feels. Betty gets screwed again!

And don't forget about the professional lady, who is catnip to Don. Dr. Faye is overheard telling "David" to get his shorts off her floor AND go shit in the ocean. Don takes note, and asks out the newly single psych. Way to make a play, Don! That date goes much better, as Don still gets to make out in the backseat of the cab, but decides to take it slow. Let me guess: He respects her, or something.

Back on the Mountain Dew account -- where vodka and Mountain Dew really are an emergency -- the dudes are acting like total dudes and Peggy has had it, so she fires Joey over his Joan-harassment. Peggy expects a pat on the back from Joan but instead receives a biting lecture on the complexities of women in the workplace, sexual harassment, and why what Peggy did made her a "humorless bitch." Oh Joanie, 2010 is not so far away from 6/15/65. Sigh.

Of course the ladies can't dominate the entire evening, and Don pulls quite the move when he shows up at Baby Gene's birthday party, carrying one of the many elephants in the room. Betty seems happy. No, really! She says to Henry that they have "everything." But Don seems to have won this round, showing 2-year-old Gene that he is, indeed, the daddy. KILLS me.

Who is your favorite Mad Men lady?


Image via AMC

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