We join this week's episode of Jersey Shore where the sh** storm left off. Angelina is just trying to eat her late-night cereal, but Vinny has stirred it up and JWoww is pissed. Which winds up in a face slapping, punching fest between JWoww and Sammi. Yes, it's over that gd note that we cannot stop talking about. Which also turns into a Vinny and Ronnie fight? Somehow?
Additionally, Snooki hits Ronnie, which was actually justified. Ronnie is such a pud, and 100% responsible for the massive drama that is tearing apart two nice gals like JWoww and Sammi. Ahem.
Lest you think it was all fighting on Jersey Shore this week, don't worry, as there was plenty of f***ing.
Still, Snooki comes out smelling like a rose this week as she pulls several smart moves. The lady actually pleads with Sammi to just pull it together and see how her girlfriends were trying to help, and her boyfriend is a total douche. But poor Snooki has made her bed, and no one can take her seriously.
The end result of the fight is that Sammi is STOKED because she thinks she kicked JWoww's ass. Really, really stoked. Ron takes Sammi out for dinner to celebrate, and he's so excited he dresses up like it's 1985. Sammi charms him with lines like, "Ya sick of me yet?" Just to solidify their status as dysfunctional couple headed for a restraining order, Sammi and Ron express their mutual belief that "the letter" brought them closer together.
Before we get into the sex of the night, a sidebar: Snooki admits that when filling out job applications, in the "ethnicity" box she selects "other" and writes in "tan."
On to the smushing. Even though Pauly D dismisses some ladies on the beach trying to get lucky with a disappointed, "Nothing like a nice herpe to ruin the party," we learn how the STDS are actually getting spread about the house: The Community Smush Room.
We get to know the room because Snooki meets a guy at the bar and far from giving it up the first night, she asks him back for the second in hopes that she will "get it in." Since JWoww isn't having any sleepless nights again, Snooks is forced into the Community Smush Room, but first Snooki and JWoww must sterilize the nastiest room I've ever even contemplated laying my eyes on -- I mean, that's some sick sh**. And once again, Snooki makes a sound decision. Honestly, it's a banner night for the guidette.
The fluid sharing isn't over as we have a shocking conclusion to the massive throw-down that started this episode when Vinny and Angelina get so drunk they decide to hook up. Some tongue wrangling in the cab gets lots of input from the rest of the crew. And as the couple makes their way into the house, the roommates feel the need to peek in on the action while the Staten Island Dump and Vin are getting their smush on. Yes, it's as gross as you think.
For anyone that's keeping score: Vinny's nailed two of the ladies in the house. Again, Snooki prevails for hitting that first.
Image via MTV